The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

How is this relevant to politics? How it is relevant to anything? We have the Curiosities thread for irrelevant. We have the Canons thread if it is relevant to Tom Sawyer.

[Mick Harper]

Conspiracy Corner

What are the chances of a minor war breaking out involving the chief producers of energy and grains, was fought so close to a chokepoint that made exporting them impossible and hence caused a worldwide inflation?

What are the chances of another minor war breaking out when the first one was dying down, involving the chief producers of energy and fertilisers, was fought so close to a chokepoint that made exporting them impossible and hence caused a worldwide inflation?

Somebody's behind it, we don't believe in coincidences. My money's on the Rothschilds. Not that they go by that name nowadays.

[Mick Harper]

As you know, the busiest airport in the world is Hartsfield Jackson in downtown Atlanta. But it is being challenged for supremacy by various middle eastern hubs. The City Fathers (successors of mayors Hartsfield and Jackson) are tearing their hair out devising ways of increasing their own capacity to stay ahead. There is plenty of latent demand.

This is because, being downtown rather than in a desert, they can't just build new runways et al willy nilly. Nobody has suggested they do nothing and enjoy being the second, third, whatever busiest airport in the world.

N.B. Yes, you're right, this is a metaphor for America itself.

[Mick Harper]

When it comes to high speed trains it's easy to sneer at Britain's 68 miles between London and Folkestone via Ashford compared to Uzbekistan's 350 miles between Bukhara and Tashkent via Samarkand.

But we are not an ex-Soviet Socialist Republic (apart from Islington and Sheffield) and it shows. For instance, you've bought your VIP class ticket (there's Business and Standard too) and already you're facing your first problem. Bukhara has two train stations, one in the city centre and one a half-hour taxi ride out of town. Guess which one is for people and which one is freight-only?

You get out of your taxi to queue up in 100 degree shadeless heat just to get into the station. You have to have a ticket, there's a great many people wanting to take a train and only one man doing the checking.

Once inside you see your gleaming new Spanish supertrain waiting for you. And a whole bunch of Uzbeks scowling at it. They've beggared themselves paying for it but travel agencies buy up all the tickets and sell them only to foreign tourists.

The train leaves five minutes ahead of schedule which can be irksome if you're doing some last minute shopping. There'll be another train the next day. But don't bother buying brekkie because a free meal will be served to you at your own table once aboard. Though take a packed lunch because the train staff won't serve it until the Samarkand people have got on two hours later. Who wants to serve meals twice?

Still the fares are much the same for both journeys. And a 57-minute train ride won't be worth having a meal on.

[Mick Harper]

Legal News from Zimbabwe

Government lawyer: Can we extend the President's term in office from 2028 to 2030?
Constitutional Court: Certainly. Just amend the Constitution with a referendum. It says term limits can't be changed without one.
Government lawyer: We'd rather do it by a vote in Parliament where we have a majority.
Constitutional Court: Oh, all right then, if you insist.
Government lawyer: Cheers.
Constitutional Court: But not for this president. The constitution specifically says term limits can't be changed without a second referendum in the case of a sitting president.
Government lawyer: Are you sure about that?
Constitutional Court: Well, we thought that's what it says, but we'll adjourn to have a little think about it.

[Mick Harper]

I was idly watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dSjY4j7Ak Why Louisiana is America's Fastest Dying State , wherein I learned how Louisiana's natural advantages--listed in astonishingly extensive detail--made it a prime candidate to be the best state in the Union, by all the usual metrics.

I didn't know that. It then proceeded to list where it actually sat according to all the usual metrics. Fiftieth out of fifty with relentless regularity. I did know that. Naturally my AE mustachios were heaving with excitement at this notable reversal of fortunes.

Of course I knew why, too many black people, and my AE responses didn't move even a little bit when this wasn't mentioned. (I didn't check just in case it wasn't.) But it did mention--nay, laboured--a much more fascinating reason. Huey Long. (Though he wasn't mentioned either.)

In 1936 the state legislature passed without fanfare--without telling anyone, it seems--a minor ordinance setting up a body that allowed anybody to seek a reduction in their property taxes which would be granted if it was thought to be in the general interest. An excellent idea. We should all have one.

Between 1936 and 2016 it nodded through 99.9% of all applications. Which were 99.9% from giant corporations operating heavy industry in Louisiana. And hence twenty billion dollars were diverted from all those little things that make life worth living in any state to those giant corporations one finds oneself living cheek-by-jowl with in every state.

[Mick Harper]

Our new nationalised corporation, Great British Railways, rolled out its first liveried train in Brighton yesterday. To save money, all the former companies' trains will be 'rebranded' as their natural paint-life comes to an end.

You will no doubt agree with me that the colour scheme adopted is grimly awful but that is not the point. The point is, why? Why should there be a nationalised colour scheme at all? All the old regions will be kept as administrative units, their names will be on the trains. This one had 'Southern' in restrained lettering on each carriage.

So why not have a different livery for every part of the country? I'm off to Cornwall by train next September. I'd much prefer it to be in GWR green. A beautiful and redolent colour. I won't need to be reminded it is red-white-and-blue because the union jack flies over the whole of Britain.

Still, they'll soon change their policy when buckets of yellow paint get chucked over the Flying Scotsman at Edinburgh Waverley as it waits to depart at ten o'clock every weekday morning.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Do you remember the Jumbo Jet? 'Course you do, they're everywhere. Except they're not. Nobody operates them anymore except the odd airline flying an odd route. And cargo-shifters. Both the Boeing 747 and the Airbus 380 are popular with them.

You'll be astonished at the reason for their fall from grace. Well, I was. Go on, guess what it was. (Clue: it's very simple.)

[Grant]

Too small

[Mick Harper]

Four engines. Not so long ago you weren't allowed to fly across the Atlantic with two engines in case one of them conked out. So engine-makers came up with super-efficient, super-powerful engines which could manage if need be, so they lifted the restriction.

Two-engines are always more economic than four--if only for aerodynamic reasons--so four-engined planes can't compete with two-engined ones on the same route. Jumbos only existed because they were cheaper-per-passenger, so exit the Jumbos.

Why they're not busy designing two-engined Jumbos is something I haven't discovered yet.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Indonesia has pulled the old Latin America trick. For twenty-five years, ever since the military junta was replaced in 1998, Indonesia has been rocketing along and is now the seventh largest economy in the world.