The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

When I were nobbut the station master at Ladbroke Grove, one of my most treasured possessions was a pass that allowed me to travel by train anywhere in Britain for free. The privilege was closely guarded. To such a point, the whole scheme was scaled down after I left. Though not, as far as I'm aware, because I left. Now, it is more selective but still closely guarded. Up to a point, Lord Hendy.

Some hundred and sixty drivers employed in the nuclear freight industry are allowed free travel if they are required to pick up a train from some distant depot. Blimey, I should think so. Nothing's too good for people on such a delicate task, requiring individuals of the utmost rectitude.

What they used to do is go willy-nilly haring about the country on personal trips bearing fake rosters that showed they were required to take out such and such a train from such and such a depot. I say 'used to' because they've been rumbled.

Though not before, as British Transport Police enquiries discovered, they'd been doing it since 1996, and that 95% of all the free journeys ought to have been bought and paid for, just like you and me have to. Will the scallywags have to make restitution? Will they be prosecuted? No chance, they're members of ASLEF.

But they'll be on their final warning.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Back to the free train pass for a mo. I don't know the precise history but here goes.

* I could understand that I might get a free pass for the London Underground. It was part of my job to move around it on occasion. Plus it's a reasonable perk.

* But what's a reasonable company perk? If you're a booking clerk at Willesden Junction, should that mean you can take your family on a freebie to Scotland on the grounds that the the West Coast Mainline includes both Willesden Junction and Glasgow Central?

* There's never been a link between London Transport and any of the railway companies, so how come we could use each other's systems to our hearts' content?

* But there was a link of sorts from 1948 onwards when they both came under the Ministry of Transport, so I'm pretty sure the railway unions negotiated the free universal pass. The government always prizes industrial harmony over profit, so this wouldn't be difficult.

* But I'm equally sure that when the railways were privatised in the 1990's, the owners blanched at their invaluable primetime intercity seats being occupied by, literally, hundreds of thousands of joyriders. So they somehow called a halt.

* What happens now that everything has been re-united under the Ministry of Transport is anyone's guess. Over to you, Andy. (Sponsored by both railway unions in his time.)