CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

The second most exciting thing today was Nescafe Dolce Gusto offering me a loyalty bonus. Since I drink the muck six times a day, I thought, 'That's for you, darling boy.' Even more off my bulk buys.

After an hour and a half working out how to register I discovered the loyalty bonus was either (a) entry into a lottery for a watch I don't need or (b) twenty per cent off a visit to some place I don't want to go or (c) twenty per cent off some summer wear I wouldn't be seen dead in.

The satisfaction in managing to register was prize enough.

[Mick Harper]

I was asked my age today by a bloke who had agreed to haul my shopping trolley up the steps outside my house. I said I was seventy-nine. It sounded better than seventy-eight which is, to my mind, somewhat wishy-washy. I think I will stick with it for a few years.

PS I didn't know how old I actually was. Seventy-nine was a bit of a stab in the dark, having been taken by surprise. (If you say you don't know they haul you off to a home.) I was impressed at how accurate my guess was when I worked it out later. Though a bit depressed too. I thought I was a bit younger to be honest.

[Mick Harper]

The Roman Republic changed its prime minister every year and conquered the known world. Something to think about there.

[Mick Harper]

The Land That Time Forgot

[Mick Harper]

Just a reminder that Auckland's long awaited five billion NZDs city centre loop is opening in a few weeks, so hurry on down there to get an early impression. I would advise getting on at the main city centre station, Waitamata, then via Te Waihorotiu and Karanga-a Hape, you can join the main line at Maungawhatu (formerly Mount Eden station).

There are diacritics on some of those letters but I can't reproduce them on my English-language keyboard. In fact, New Zealand's public transport system does few favours to English-speakers, understandably favouring the local language. What we used to call Maori but it's probably called something else now.

I did ask a 'Maori' I had spotted but she didn't know and couldn't speak it. Actually she seemed a bit put out at being asked but that often happens when I approach young women in public places.