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The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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Just to mark your card, our next matches are against Ghana, Panama, Congo and Mexico. We can put out the reserves to take care of that lot.

Allowing Kane & Co to get a few weeks R & R in Acapulco (or they can pop home if they prefer) until a quarter-final against opponents shagged out battling their way through teams you've heard of. So that'll be another breeze. Wake me up for the penalty shoot-out in the semis.
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Mick Harper
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The Athletic wrote:
Ranking the top 50 players at the 2026 World Cup: Who were the winners and losers from week one?
24. Kai Havertz — Germany/Arsenal (new entry)
Germany’s perennial agonising about their No 9 position has receded a little after their group opener against Curacao, and not just because of the way Havertz scored his two goals of their seven. His pressing, link play and movement also make him an intriguing focal point for Florian Wirtz and Jamal Musiala to orbit.

What pleases me so much about this? Well, Havertz was such a load of shite for Chelsea he was hardly ever in the starting eleven so they offloaded him on us for big bucks. Where he's been a load of shite, hardly ever in the starting eleven, so naturally we're trying to find somebody we can offload him to for big bucks.

Since people are always saying what a great player he is (against Curacao) we have every chance of doing this. Except Arteta is one of those people who rate him. So it will take Havertz to be ranked at a really big tournament by a really big sports outlet to get an offer of really big bucks to persuade Arteta to let Havertz go.

Go on, son, you've managed several decent performances for us (about twice a year for the last three years), surely you can manage a couple more for your country playing against minnows? Pretty please.

PS Declan Rice was at #12, William Saliba #17, Saka #29, Gabriel #41. Plus Bradley Barcola who'll be joining us this summer at #48.

FYI, Harry Kane was at #2 and Jude Bellingham #11.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Wileys prediction of Turkey as dark horses, ("great attacking team") meant that they were eliminated. Against 10 man Panama, they had an incredible 33 shots, but lost 0-1.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Mrs Wiley rather likes these new hydrating breaks' that FIFA have introduced, to encourage me to get my own ice cold beer from the fridge, without missing any action.

She reckons the exercise is good for me.
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Mick Harper
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There were three 'firsts' in the Turkey/Paraguay match

* A team only completing eight passes in a half of football (Paraguay in the second)
* Turkey being called Türkiye unselfconsciously by football commentators
* Someone being sent off for 'mouth-covering'.

Baby-faced Miguel Ángel Almirón of the two big 'Uniteds', Newcastle and Atlanta, was a bit unlucky. It is unlikely a Peruvian was racially abusing a Turk -- the reason for the prohibition -- but sportsman generally have got into the habit of mouth-covering for fear of tactical talk being lip-read. But either way, he had to go, as Phil Tufnell says on the fall of every wicket. Give it a rest, Tuffers.
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Mick Harper
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You seem to go in for unusual household arrangements, Wiley. Most of us have at least two two cooler bags for our stubbies, one on each side of the recliner. But if you do need the exercise, perhaps this will help

Didgeridoonas Can Quiver: A popular traditional canvas or oilskin insulated cooler made by the iconic Australian outback brand. It is designed like a long sleeve to perfectly fit several cans and slides easily into a camping bag or golf bag.
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Mick Harper
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Ecuador 0 Curaçao 0

They are certainly obeying their manager's instructions to shoot on sight. TV commentator

We often hear this sort of talk at home too. It is a completely daft strategy. Sure, the Curaçao goalie was man of the match but only for doing his job. He saved a dozen shots any keeper would be expected to. If you shoot from distance you are relying on (a) a freak shot (b) a deflection (c) a goalkeeping blunder or (d) a follow-up from a parry, to score a goal.

I don't know the statistics but you're more likely to go one-up if either (a) the goalie tips it over and you get a corner or (b) a defender sticks a hand out and you get a pen. Though it all pales compared to the correct strategy, the much derided 'walking the ball in'.
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Mick Harper
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We must throw a sop to our Scottish members. I use to open my act with that line at the Glasgow Alhambra and would then stride off stage to tumultuous applause.

No, seriously, what are the chances of Scotland getting out of the group stages? Eight times they have tried, eight times they have failed. That's more than Robert the Bruce. So will they make it this time now that FIFA have made it so easy, it's quite hard not to?

Scotland have three points
It only requires three points to qualify
But not all three-point teams will qualify
It will be down to goal difference
Scotland should have filled their boots against Haiti but didn't
Brazil will fill their boots against them so they won't.

When I returned I would be wearing a comedy kilt. It had the wrong tartan! The cheers hit the rafters. They had them in those days.
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