AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

It may be no more than a coincidence but ever since me and Katy Razzell were unable to come to terms over a major BBC series on British Museum fakes, she has rather let herself go. Oscar Wilde had a similar experience with Dorian Gray.

[Mick Harper]

The Amur River by Colin Thubron (BBC R4X)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002bzt5

Our eighty-something doyen of travellers to desperate places was walking (and riding) for several thousand miles along the longest armed border in the world, twixt Russia and China. He encountered mainly Chinese and Russian officials trying to get rid of him and any Buryat Buddhist that the Russians and Chinese hadn't got rid of. By killing them in stupendous numbers. One of them summed up their philosophy

[Mick Harper]

Mob Cops (Sky Premium)

Strictly for mobbed-up people. Terrific. I knew Sky Movies would come up with a new film worth watching sooner or later. It's why I don't pay for it as part of the package I negotiated.

[Mick Harper]

Countryfile (BBC1)

Adam, you're a farmer, do you suffer from hay fever, allergies, that kind of thing?
No, not at all. Only bee stings. They make me swell up like a balloon.
Did you have a good year last year?
Pretty good, thanks. Only a new crop, lupins, failed.
Oh, why was that?
The flowers didn't get pollinated enough to produce a decent yield of seeds.
So you won't be trying them again.
Yes, we will, but we're going to put a hundred beehives all round the farm.

[Mick Harper]

All News Stations

Isn't it odd how you watch certain things avidly for years and then, all of a sudden, you don't want to know. When the P Diddy trial comes on I just fast forward. I've had my lifetime's worth of celebrity sex scandals.

Wake me up if a member of the British royal family features in this one but not otherwise.

[Mick Harper]

The Boy from the Sea (Radio 4)

Is it any good? Not sure but I listened to ten quarter hour episodes last night back-to-back-back, so I thought so. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002c2dk

[Mick Harper]

Invasion: Normans (Sky History 2 Channel)

You might be forgiven for supposing this is yet another turgid exposition of 1066 and all that. Wrong! This is an Irish production and refers to their Norman invasion, the one by Strongbow in 1170. Strictly speaking, it was more Angevin than Norman but let's not split hairs in the race for an audience.

Is it any good? Not particularly. Is it worth watching? Very much so. First of all to observe how very British Irish academic talking heads are, i.e. twats repeating the party line. Second of all, you will discover a remarkable post-shadowing of 1066.

1. A mysterious battle on the foreshore
2. A mysteriously unimpeded capture of the capital city
3. A mysterious vanquishing of an entire nation-in-arms.

There is even a connection with our very own Thomas à Becket conspiracy theorising. The whole thing may have been planned by Henry II in expiation of that terrible crime! Check it out.

PS There is one merry bit of by-play. The voice-over intones how popular Norman Christian names became in Ireland. Not mentioning that Scandinavian forenames are notably absent from the 'northmen' of Normandy.

[Mick Harper]

The most popular entry at this year's Eurovision Song Contest, as voted for by right-wing armchair viewers, was from ultra-right Israel but after some quiet words behind the scenes the jury declared the merely far-right Austria to be the winner.

The United Kingdom came a disappointing nineteenth out of twenty-five and it has been agreed to try out a Nigel Farage government for a few years to see if the plucky Brits can return to their glory days.

[Mick Harper]

So Gary Lineker is cutting all ties with the BBC following 'an anti-Semitic tweet'. I would have thought, these days, that's a true Man o' the People thing to do.

[Mick Harper]

Fare Dodgers: At War with the Law (Channel 5)

My favourite series on account of being both a ticket inspector and a fare dodger at different phases of my life. I'm entirely on the side of law'n'order on this one though. The people they caught were a right bunch of serial shysters. "Here are the printouts of your six hundred fare evasions over the last two years." "Who me, guv?"

The inspectors were a pretty unprepossessing lot too. But in a nice way. Overweight but determined.

[Mick Harper]

In the days of the Cold War (anyone?) Eurovision was Western Eurovision because the Soviets had set up Intervision as their version (it's still going even though the Soviets aren't). With the success of the Eurovision Song Contest, the Russians naturally set up their equivalent.

In 1980, the Intervision Song Contest was held in Warsaw (with Solidarity noises from the Gdansk shipyard resounding offstage). The Finns, who weren't doing so well in the west, decided to enter and arrived with a typical Boom Bang-a-Bang style rouser. Which, against the wan folk laments communists favour, won in a canter. They were given a large cash prize to take home with them.

Except the zloty wasn't convertible and couldn't be taken outside the Comecon area. So there was nothing for it but for the whole crew to get plastered on the way to the airport. You couldn't make it up. Honest, I haven't.

[Mick Harper]

Meal Deals: Behind the Bargain (Channel 4)

I discovered these curious hybrids (invented in Britain, by Boots) years ago when I was going off to see my mum. I found them mildly vexing because (a) I was always getting them wrong and having to pay for items separately (b) never quite satisfied with what M & S, Waterloo Station had on offer and (c) acutely conscious I probably hadn't saved the maximum amount of money with my choice.

After watching this programme I realise they are an everyday staple (though in my case, once a week). They are practically half-price and have Britain's leading scientists working on them round the clock. A whole new adventure in my life's journey.

[Grant]

Meal Deals are the greatest ignored business opportunity in the world.

If someone were to take the idea to the US they would make a McDonald's sized fortune

[Mick Harper]

I got the impression from the programme that the world thinks it's just those crazy Brits. But they said that when Boots started it. Since it's been going for forty years there's been enough time for word to get out.

Then again, the world only got round to the sandwich two hundred years later so these things shouldn't be underestimated.

[Mick Harper]

It's Old! It's from Netflix!