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Grant
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We get a proper meter reader every six months. I proudly show him our new gas meter and he takes the reading.
A week later we get an estimated bill because "we have not received a meter reading from you." This has been going on for several years.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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He may not be a meter-reader. It's a standard means of casing the joint. Though the time factor militates against this. Speaking of which, they can technically refuse to pay you any excess after two years (out of time for civil proceedings) but demand arrears without time limit (or cut off your gas, you choose).
Why not e-talk to their bot and set it out here? It won't solve your problem but it will contribute to understanding the problem.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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It was Balinese not Indian but I get your point.
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Wile E. Coyote
In: Arizona
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For fuck sake Banksey, you need to be banned, you have become the Billy Bragg of street protest stencillers.
Please, just give us something original, anything that is not romantic radical, right on, clever clever, pro liberal, anti-capitalist, anti war, anti-climate change tosh.
I get that it is making you rich and famous, but you are getting way too comfortable.
You are a National Treasure.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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It's not his fault he lives in a country where seventy million people have so bought into his callow exhibitionism, he has been canonised.
PS Surely national treasure art belongs in an art gallery.
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Wile E. Coyote
In: Arizona
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Amended Sayings.(Number 1)
The show must go on
"The show must go on" is a phrase in show business meaning that, regardless of what happens, whatever show has been planned still has to be staged for the waiting patrons.
The saying and principle are traditional in the theatre, but they both originated in the 19th century with circuses. If an animal got loose or a performer was injured, the ringmaster and the band tried to keep things going so that the crowd would not panic[1] because "it is a point of honour not to let the other players down by deserting them when no understudy is available".[2] |
Amended.
Whilst traditionally thought to be an obligation placed on performers and producers of a show, in its wider modern sense it also provides for a reciprocal duty placed on police and local governance to block off streets and provide a Flashing Blue Light Motorcade to enable any performer to reach the venue.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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You Can't Highlight Everything
| Medium wrote: | | People are highlighting your story There’s no flies on us |
Faiz Muhammad
You’re going on holiday and scurrying around packing and stuff because the taxi is outside and just as you’re leaving you realise you’ve left the gas on and you hurry back but of course you haven’t but you do notice your breakfast bacon and eggs plate is still in the sink so you splash some water over it and leave. This time for good. For a week in Devon with the family, something along those lines.
Harold De Gauche
You apologise to the cabbie even though he hasn’t even noticed and thinks you’re a complete pillock apologising to him. I don’t mind, I am a complete pillock. Then you have the holiday. [Not bad, about average for the time of year…
Lateef Educate
OK, so now we’re all on the same page, what are we going to do about it? The first thing is… nothing. It’s one fruit fly, they are totally harmless and who cares if he (I’m assuming) passes your field of vision occasionally when you’re typing stories for Medium and strapped for something to write about.
Harold De Gauche
…t at night near a bright light they are attracted to the light reflection and drown. Nope, nothing. I seem to have attracted a particularly clever strain of fruit fly. They do say you grow to resemble your fruit flies.
But the next day his mate (though that’s confusing nomenclature, I agree) comes looking for him. Kerpow. When another one comes along the next day (unless it’s the…
…ourself, eventually you’ll nail the bastard because they just sit there, don’t they, asking for it. You’re not a Buddhist for chrissake.
Adrienne Beaumont
…ction and drown. Nope, nothing. I seem to have attracted a particularly clever strain of fruit fly. They do say you grow to resemble your fruit flies.
… the estate agent’s blurb, it’s a case of buyer beware. I’ll be in Antarctica before they find out. (Not really I’m only saying that to fool the fruit flies. Probably Harpenden, I’ve always been attracted by the name.) And if they disappear before then? I’l…
…queries anyway, they can always forward stuff on. I try to live up to the motto on my family crest: ‘Your problem is my problem.’ The heralds insisted on ‘Tua quaestio est quaestio’ which to my mind doesn’t pack the same punch bu…
…es. Probably Harpenden, I’ve always been attracted by the name.) And if they disappear before then? I’ll gazump myself and stay where I am.
Rahul
But keep sending in your household queries anyway, they can always forward stuff on. I try to live up to the motto on my family crest: ‘Your problem is my problem.’ The heralds insiste…
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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According to my hourly/daily updated stats on Medium, my four hundred stories got one reader yesterday. It's getting like the AEL over there.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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Is It An Omen?
Me, Lucy Letby and the New Yorker
May 17, 2024
Updated every 24 hours
666 Views | |
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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I have just given up sugar. I had already given up sweeteners in favour of a return to sugar, though I shall not be returning to sweeteners. Why I have done this remains a mystery but I thought I'd mention it here to discourage backsliding.
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Wile E. Coyote
In: Arizona
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Would-be alleged Trump assassin Ryan Routh's, team is now asking for Judge Aileen Cannon to recuse herself from his criminal case, because, she may have reason to be partial to Trump. Wiley, like the Judge also has some sympathy for Donald, after all this is the second alleged assasination attempt.
Its not looking good for Ryan, he feels the judge is against him, and part of the evidence against him is a letter.
| "This was an assassination attempt on Donald Trump, but I failed you,".... "I tried my best and gave it all the gumption I could muster. It is up to you now to finish the job and I will offer $150,000 to whomever can complete the job." |
Probably wise of the defence team to try and get him off, on abuse of process..
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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President Harris will pardon him.
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Mick Harper
Site Admin
In: London
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This story's only been up for four hours and already it's garnered ninety-five claps from five different people. Promising. At least I will benefit from a fuehrer putsch.
Dictator Trump
If he wins the 2024 election, it will be the last one
We’ve been hearing all these stories about how he wants generals ‘like Adolf Hitler had’. He should be so lucky. No, this is what we psephologists call ‘last gasp syndrome’ — when people have tried everything to get their candidate in, nothing’s working, so they go nuclear.
It happened in 2016 when a flurry of last minute Trump sex-stories was sure to sink his candidature but the voters, half of them anyway, riposted by voting for him anyway. They had, after all, been listening to nothing but Trump sex stories for the previous six months.
There’s an awful lot of people thirsting for ‘the smack of firm government’ so telling them Mr Trump is the best man for the job seems a perverse electoral strategy on the part of his opponents.
That’s not the worst of it though. If everyone agrees there is a clear and present danger Trump will turn dictator and the American electorate vote him in, he’s entitled to have a go at being a dictator. If it’s what the man on the Peoria omnibus wants, who is President Trump to disagree?
But there’s no need to worry. As soon as he tries anything, some judge in Lower Manhattan will rule against him. “Darn it, I was that close,” he will say, and go back to Key Largo like last time. It’s what we psephologists call ‘the electoral cycle’.
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Grant
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Mick is sadly right.
Us extreme right-wingers want him to be Hitler, but if Trump wins he will treat the next four years as a lap of honour and do very little.
The best we can hope is that he will, like last time, refuse to start any foreign wars, earning more enmity from the likes of Bolton and "Mad Dog" Mattis. And that isn't a minor achievement
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