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The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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We all remember David Mellor asking Antonia de Sancha to dress up in Chelsea kit.
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Mick Harper
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England vs South Africa 2nd T20

Justice Cockelcarrot here. Sorry, been away on a refresher course but my services are needed as never before. England quick spears it down legside, ball brushes South African glove, Buttler catches it low down to his left. England appeal, umpire turns them down, Buttler sends it upstairs. DRS shows the ball did touch the batter's glove but touched the ground before reaching Buttler's gloves. Umpire's decision confirmed. But the question before us is

Does England lose its only T20 DRS challenge?

Our panel sat long into the night over this. The touch-glove part is subject to a lost challenge but that was found to be true. The touch-ground part is normally an umpire-appeal. That was found to be untrue and resulted in the appeal as a whole being turned down, but does England lose its challenge?

We don't know, they didn't say on the telly. But a nation can relax. Justice Cocklecarrot is back and on the job.
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Mick Harper
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The pot thickens. If the umpire thought the batsmen had not touched it, why didn't he call no-ball, under limited over rules about legside bowling? Yes, I thought many of you would be wondering that.
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Mick Harper
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Charity Shield King Power Stadium
Women's Euro Final Wembley


I did warn you. We have to get out before it's too late and every squad must have four women (two starters). Somewhere they can't follow us. Rugby League? The Eton Wall Game? We must keep looking.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Fox tossing?
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Mick Harper
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I yield to no man in my knowledge of the countryside but this is a new one on me. Spare me the details but explain why women cannot do it. Country women are notably bloodthirsty. They are in the saddle before the rest of us are off the potty. Rather late in my case, my mother tells me, but she often gets me confused with my brother.
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Wile E. Coyote


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I can't see the ladies being willing to sustain the nasty facial injuries you get when a mispropelled fox drops verticallly on the person trying to propel it. It really is a game for men.
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Mick Harper
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All right, we'll include it in the next AEL sports day but on your own head be it.
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Mick Harper
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Assuming the men win the (men's) World Cup, we can begin a eugenics programme mating Lionesses and Three Lions (the players not David Baddiel, though he can watch if he wants to). There will be a twenty year hiatus before we have the fruits of the loins, which we shall have to fill from the usual Premiership gene pool, but after that.... look out Germany.

Gareth has already agreed to donate to a sperm bank to ensure the managerial side is in good hands.
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Grant



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I’m on me hols so it was good to watch it on French TV. They showed the trophy presentation and then it was straight to Fort Boyard (still popular on the continent). But I feel sorry for the people in Blighty having to endure hours of Alex Scott talking about the “gels” and various Clare Balding types droning on.
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Mick Harper
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Yes, you can always tell by the tone when it is a political project rather than 'proper sport'. This can occur in 'proper sport' too. For example if the Ivory Coast is playing New Zealand in the World Rugby finals and everyone is anxious the minnows don't get blown away too embarrassingly.

Affirmative action is always a bad thing. It may succeed in the short run by allowing people who shouldn't be there by right to hold the stage temporarily but always fails in the medium run by demonstrating they shouldn't be there. Being blown away probably put Ivory Coast rugby back by twenty years. Certainly they weren't heard from again. It fails in the long run because for evermore everybody assumes, "Oh, they are only there because of affirmative action." Even when they are there on merit.

The irony is that if nature is allowed to take its course, it takes a bit longer but the results can be remarkable. Thus women's soccer could have become quite big but now it'll be just a big let-down as everyone returns to the workaday world of... women's soccer. Which was making steady strides. Now it will go the way of American women's soccer where everyone is obsessed with equal pay and equal airtime for women's soccer. Rather than just getting on with playing and maybe finding out they're bigger than men.

Sport is marvellous because it always delivers truths no-one can disguise. They can cheat but that's a different issue.

.
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Mick Harper
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I see I have started talking in Baldingese. I wonder what he's up to.
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Mick Harper
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I see I've stated referring to myself in the third person. I wonder what that means.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Good performance by the lionesses, with iconic backheel goal, but failed to come up with that new paradigm in terms of goal celebration, eg baby rocking, crocodile walk, dentist chair etc. We need to sack Sarina Wiegman and bring in Darcy Bussell.
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Mick Harper
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We started off the last season on the Friday against Brentford. If we'd managed to squeak that one we would be in the Champions League now but the B's were just too good for us. This year it's Friday Night at the Palais de Dance. If Viera ever wants to manage Arsenal his duty is clear.

Predictions:
Man City
Man Utd
Chelsea
Liverpool
-------
Arsenal
-------
Spurs
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