CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

For years we all took ketamine 'cos you could pick it up for a few quid from any head shop. Then Panorama exposed it and the government banned it. From November it's going to be handed out on the NHS and we'll be able to pick it up on repeat prescription for a few quid from any chemist. Until Panorama exposes it again.

[Mick Harper]

And talking of drugs, I can't quite see the point of being the world's (indeed, history's) greatest drug lord since, more or less by definition, it requires being on the run all the time, being in and out of gaol and finally having to pay twelve billion dollars to the the Americans. If I were El Chapo's successor (and I can assure you I have no ambitions in that direction), I'd stop when I was, say, fifth biggest or something, and live quietly in an Acapulco beachside hacienda or somesuch. As I say, I haven't thought it through in any fine detail.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Does anyone else have the feeling that they've replaced you with a slightly inferior product?

[Mick Harper]

There's to be no 'blackface' at this year's Christmas cabaret. Or vice versa, Grant.

[Grant]

Why is blackface so unacceptable these days? Why should it not be considered a tribute?

[Mick Harper]

Let's consider the timeline. The Black and White Minstrel Show was winning Montreux in the seventies but already by then would be considered passé in America, though not offensive. (I'm making this up as I go along so feel free...) Plus you've got Olivier winning prizes for his blacked-up Othello. But let's consider that last since it would be pretty much the last -- we'll soon be on to Jonathan Pryce in Miss Saigon. Technically, Olivier is racially closer to Othello (a north African) than any 'black' actor (sub-Saharan African) yet not to use a black African as Othello would now be considered racially offensive. So we're not talking Simon Pure here. More, on with the motley.

It is revealing (and just about heartening) that black actors can now play thanes and earls in Shakespeare but are we ready for a black Henry V? Maybe it's been and gone, I hate live theatre. They did a remake of Al Jolson's The Jazz Singer recently, how was that done? The AE way to look at all this, in my view, is to acknowledge things are rollicking along quite well without our assistance but we can still mock gently from the sidelines. We'll know the battle is won when 'blackface' is allowed again. And not ironically either.

[Grant]

Every time I go to the theatre I am always amused by the number of inappropriately black actors. Julius Caesar at the Bridge made sure that Mrs Caesar and Augustus were both black. It's almost as if they have a quota.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Wiley is glad to see that AE is finally moving with the times.

My contribution for this year's party is Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2n48p2

[Mick Harper]

If you get through the auditions.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Wiley has form. He lost out when auditioning on New Faces against Lenny Henry. We both did Stevie Wonder and Frank Spencer.

[Mick Harper]

Lenny Henry doing Stevie Wonder? That wouldn't be allowed today, a differently-challenged actor would be required. Hatty's already doing Frank Spencer, just to mark your card.

[Wile E. Coyote]

[Mick Harper]

Sorry, Hatty's bagged that one as well. In fact she combines them. It's not everybody's cup of tea.

[Boreades]

Frank Spencer doing Douglas Bader

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcPfGOc9Cdg

And Frank Spencer's AEL aptitude test

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcPfGOc9Cdg