The Tom Sawyer Principle (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

Albanese? Is he one of these New Australians we keep hearing about? He wants to leave this one to the Old Australians, he does.

[Mick Harper]

Dearborn, Michigan (pop: 109,000) has quite an important place in world history

[Mick Harper]

Here's a strange thing and a sign of the times. I get a phone call from a DCI Robson of Hammersmith Police to tell me that somebody called Harper is using my credit cards in Oxford Street and is he doing it with my permission? Robbo's got a rough accent and seems to be a bit vague on the sums involved, £3,000 is mentioned which seems unfeasible for any bank account I've ever owned. So naturally I'm a bit suspicious and tell him I'm busy and I'll ring him back in ten minutes. He takes this news ill -- "This is very urgent, Mr Harper" -- but when I insist, he tells me to ring 161 and ask for his badge number, B1923. But then says he will ring back in ten minutes if I have any difficulty.

Well, I did have some difficulty. 161 gets me nowhere and when I tried to ring Hammersmith copshop to see if they have a DCI Robson, it turns out you're not allowed to ring the police any more except via 999 which this didn't seem to warrant, or 101 which results in 'Send us an email'. Hammersmith Police 'front desk' is listed (it's one of the 1212 numbers) but this has been discontinued and I'm told to ring either 999 or 101. When I do finally track down a live number it turns out to be Hammersmith & Fulham Council's crime report service and they refuse to help because I live outside Hammersmith & Fulham.

So now I'm waiting for DCI Robson to ring back. If he doesn't, it was a scam. If he does... I don't know what I'll do.

[Mick Harper]

I support this proposal to change the US Constitution so Joe Biden can run for a third term. The Republicans only changed it to two in the 1950's because Roosevelt ran for a fourth term. Though in his case 'running' for the presidency is not entirely appropriate. None of this applies to Trump since his two terms will start again in 2025 and he won't want to go on past 2033. But maybe not change the Constitution just in case.

[Mick Harper]

We've just got to get to grips with what 'apologise' means in English. It's a legal term that is essentially an acknowledgement of fault on the part of the apologiser, and carries with it the implication that restitution of some kind is called for. Even if it is only a formal apology.

It's not the same as saying you're sorry. We're all sorry about those people that apparently died needlessly during Covid but Gove, at the Enquiry yesterday, kicked off proceedings by formally 'apologising' on behalf of himself and the government for them ("my lady," pulls onion out of top pocket). Except... as his bagman pointed out in the Newsnight studio later, his old boss didn't actually say what either he or the government was apologizing for.

It was because of 'mistakes'. But that is an equally tricky word in the political lexicon. You can make a decision in good faith which later turns out to have been a mistake, but you don't have to apologise for that. You might get kicked out at the next election for making it but you don't have to apologise for it. There are presumably other kinds of mistakes but I promise you no witness will own up to one of them, and the Enquiry will not be able to identify a single one.

Whether they identify the correct mistakes -- real or imagined, good faith or bad faith -- is something we'll never know. Unless maybe we hold an enquiry into the Enquiry. But there's no need because all mistakes will feature somewhere in the hundred and twenty-one urgent recommendations made in the Final Report and which the government will accept 'in full' and which will be implemented 'as a matter of urgency'.

Apologies accepted, y'all.

[Mick Harper]

Mu old alma mater turned up on Secrets & Power: China in the UK on Dispatches (Channel 4). I was thoroughly ashamed even taking into account that universities are PLC's these days and have little regard to freedom of thought. But, even from their own perspective, I would have thought having a Chinese Department that offers courses on the politics of China must mean the odd word of criticism of the Chinese Communist party is going to be uttered from time to time. There isn't any other politics in China, is there?

It was different in my day when I was studying politics there. If you didn't criticise the British Conservative Party they'd never give you more than a third class degree. That's what I told my mum anyway.

[Mick Harper]

The infected blood transfusion scandal continues to be the most bafflingly long-running saga of my lifetime. Back in the seventies the NHS started importing plasma from American junkies to save pennies and despite everyone telling them it was potentially disastrous. The story so far:

* Tens of thousands got HIV, hepatitis C and so forth.
* The government refused compensation because it would cost too much.
* The victims could do nothing about it because you can't sue the government.
* The electorate could do nothing about it because neither Labour nor Conservative governments would do anything about it.
* The present government has just lost its first whipped vote demanding it does something about it.
* Will you bleeders just hurry up and die so we can all have some peace and quiet.

[Grant]

It will be like WW1 veterans. When there were a million of them the government and media didn't give a damn. When we were down to the last handful we all realised how much we should have done for them

[Mick Harper]

I invite a few people round to my place, we have a few drinks, conversation turns to minorities. The language soon gets quite deplorable as we all start trying to cap one another with outrageous racial slurs.
Are we guilty of a criminal offence?
As far as I know we aren't.

I forgot to mention we're all ex-policemen.
Have we brought the police service into disrepute?
I can't see that we have.

Unbeknownst to us, someone was taping our conversation through the window. That person subsequently publishes our conversation.
Are we guilty of a criminal offence?
I'm not sure though certainly the police service has been brought into disrepute.

But what of the eavesdropper and/or the publisher?
Are they guilty of an offence?
That I don't know but they have certainly brought the police service into disrepute.

We do it all in a private chatroom on the internet which is subsequently etc etc
Are we guilty of a criminal offence and have we brought the police service into disrepute?
Yes and Yes

Though interestingly -- and to me, surprisingly -- they all got off with non-custodials. The eavesdropper and the publisher were given plaudits.

[Mick Harper]

Don't treat this as gospel but as far as I can make out the sequence of events went something like this

1. Victor Orban, prime minister of Hungary, is a populist leader of the kind the EU hate
2. Victor Orban has been doing all kinds of things the EU heartily disapproves of
3. The EU withheld ten billion euros of Hungarian development money until Victor Orban behaves himself
4. Victor Orban took no notice
5. Victor Orban threatened to veto the latest EU Ukraine assistance package
6. The EU gave Victor Orban the quiet nod that he would get his ten billion euros if he withdrew his veto
7. Victor Orban excused himself from the room when the Ukraine package came to the vote
8. The aid package went through unopposed.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

You Are The Jury

An ex-Mayor of New York has accused a couple of obscure vote counters in some Godforsaken place of messing about with the ballots. Everyone and his dog knows this is routine political flim-flam. Anyway you and your fellow-jurypersons have decided the two are simon-pure on the substantive charge and now you have to come up with what would be suitable restitution to the complainants courtesy of the ex-mayor. These are your choices:

1. A fulsome apology and a promise not to do it again
2. A meal at Domenico's with him as waiter
3. Forty-eight million dollars.

[Mick Harper]

1. The government has announced it will have to put off paying final compensation to the sufferers of the infected blood transfusions of the 1970's to the 'end of this parliament' because of budgetary constraints.
2. The government has announced more money for psychiatric counselling to people suffering from the infected blood transfusions of the 1970's.
3. I call on the government to provide more money for psychiatric counselling to people upset because they haven't been compensated by the government for infecting them in the 1970's.

Unless there are budgetary constraints.

[Mick Harper]

[Mick Harper]

Argentina is pursuing its normal path to perdition. Things had got into such an almighty mess the Argentines plumped for a new (and slightly weirdo) president. As soon as he started implementing the new (and slightly weirdo) polices the people had just voted for, they hit the streets in protest.