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AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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I am reminded that this month's Index of Forbidden TV programmes has not been issued yet
Poldark (I'm afraid so)
The America's Cup (we're out)
A Handmaid's Tale
Anything with the word Glastonbury in the title.
Any programme with Greg Wallace in it except Supermarket Shopping Secrets.
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Hatty
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In: Berkshire
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Is there anything left to watch? Can't watch the Ladies golf as it's on Sky.
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aurelius



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aurelius wrote:
Has Rona Munro (Dr Who writer this week) read TME? Between 4:40 and 5:05 the Doctor's companion Nardole is astonished by a talking crow. This is no surprise to the Time Lord, who explains that after humans stopped conversing with them the corvids "took a bit of a huff".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b08w4q5t/doctor-who-series-10-10-the-eaters-of-light


I was sitting in the garden this afternoon when three or more crows alighted onto a large sycamore tree nearby. There was a vociferous dispute going on, with some aggression though I couldn't see much of it because of the time of year. What first struck me was that each crow cry had a distinctly different tone/pitch.

Then I realised where Terry Nation may have got his Dalek's voices from. Aaaaark Aaaaark Aaaaark said one crow. Irrrrrrk Irrrrrk Irrrrrk countered another. Daaaaaark went the third. He'd just forgotten the second syllable, "torrrrr".

I went back indoors and hid behind the sofa.
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Mick Harper
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If people think I am sitting through another series of Doc Marten they've got another think coming. I shall be lying down because of the excitement.
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Mick Harper
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Watching Victoria I couldn't help thinking what a fine people the Scots were. I think they should be invited to join us.
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Mick Harper
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However there was a blatant anachronism. Homosexuality hadn't even been invented in Victorian times.
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Mick Harper
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A Bridge Too Far is on tonight, about the Arnhem campaign of September 1944. It starts with a pensive Dutchwoman saying, "It was the fifth year of the war and things were still going Hitler's way" which would have come as a surprise even to Hitler. Boffo box office though.
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Hatty
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Wonderful film. Was the bit about spotter planes photographing camouflaged German tanks at Arnhem added to make the story (even more) gripping or was it true? If the latter, Monty might have been court-martialled.
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Mick Harper
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Yes it was and no he shouldn't. As Mr Daphne du Maurier, C-in-C UK Airborne troops, said, "Do you honestly think we are going to stop the largest airborne operation in history because of some German tanks parked under a hedge?" If you were watching closely these vaunted Panzer divisions took seven days to wipe out half a battalion of paras at the Arnhem Bridge and nine days to not wipe out a couple of thousand paras in the north bank pocket. Neither group got significant reinforcement or resupply. There were no panzer divisions except in name but it makes for a decent alibi.

However I agree on the quality of the film. I only decided to watch because there is a section in the new book about it but was similarly gripped (except fast-forwarding through the Attenborough trademark sentimental bits). I trust you noticed that all the Americans were either brave or wise or both.
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Mick Harper
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Consider the reality of these panzer divisions which are supposed to have brought Market-Garden (and an independent British success to remind everyone they were still a Great Power) to a juddering halt. At this stage of the war a German armoured division would be considered lucky to have fifty operational tanks. In combat. Refitting armoured divisions such as the the ones north of Arnhem would likely have none at all. They would be re-fitting! Working tanks were too valuable in September 1944 to be sitting around doing nothing very much.

But this is not even the central point. The battle, remember, is being fought out on the German/ Dutch/ Belgian borders, probably the best place in the whole wide world for road/rail infrastructure. How long do you suppose it would take the Germans to bring up any number of tanks to Arnhem?

But this is not the central point. As Model (of whom more later) said in the film, “Who cares about a few parachutists around Arnhem?” What he did care about was the lavishly equipped British armoured divisions ‘thundering’ up the road towards Arnhem. So, unlike Montgomery, Horrocks, British historians and American film-makers, he concentrated everything on them and left the paratroopers to wither on the vine. And how right he was. The British were still gazing forlornly across the Rhine at Arnhem when the war came to an end nine months later.
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Mick Harper
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Model was portrayed as a blundering ignoramus in the film so let me tell you a little about him. Two little things actually:
1) He was probably the best defensive general of the entire Second World War (“Hitler’s Fireman”)
2) He was the most nazified of all the senior generals (committed suicide, April 1945).

So he presents a bit of a problem for post-war tastes.
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Mick Harper
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And so finally we can play the What If? game. What would have happened if Market Garden had worked like clockwork? It certainly would have set up a fascinating position for the respective armies. The British would be over the Rhine (the good news) but at the end of a seventy-mile supply line consisting of a single road (the bad news). The Germans for their part would be surrounding the Arnhem salient and overlooking the whole length of the seventy mile road. Mmm...

“Generalfeldmarschall Model? Leave zat und gehen nach ... ach, var ist my list?”
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Mick Harper
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Oh No! It's M J Harper vs The Universe

Channel 4 News tonight reports that astronomers have finally 'proved' that gold comes from colliding neutron stars (pronounced 'neuron stars' by the wonderful John Snow). The astronomers were saying it was colliding supernovae not so long ago so it's progress of a sort.

What Channel 4 didn't mention is that I have already proved gold is entirely terrestrial in origin as per SCUM Theory. I can't make up my mind what to wear when I am invited in for the inevitable studio discussion. John Snow is famous for his fancy socks but I think I will be content wearing my lucky pants.
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Mick Harper
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Not just my lucky pants obviously.
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Mick Harper
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Two fascinating statistics from last night's PBS Vietnam series on BBC-4. The Americans defined a successful firefight as one in which ten 'gooks' were killed per every American. In WW2 and Korea US pilots claimed ten enemy planes were shot down for every one of theirs. It was later discovered the ration was in fact 1:1 (in WW2, we still await the Korean figures).

The most highly decorated US Vietnam vet is a Japanese-American.
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