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AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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But while I have your attention. My mouse works on the table, it doesn't work on the mousemat on the table, but then works again on a piece of paper on the mousemat on the table. It's as if it knows what will undermine my confidence in a Newtonian universe.
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Mick Harper
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Did you notice the Big Guns wheeled out their New Year Big Offerings (Doctor Who, Dracula, The Trial of Christine Keeler and Bancroft) and how easy it was to say, "No thanks, I've got Netflix."

This all goes back to two weird business models. The Americans reckoned it could all be paid for by advertising; the Europeans went in for a poll tax. Both models worked after a fashion and it has taken an extraordinarily long time to reach the situation that Mankind has always preferred: you pay for what you want. But even that is flawed. Imagine going to the market and being told you have to pay ten pounds a month but after that everything's free.
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Mick Harper
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Speaking of the two models, the British went through a strange experience. From the 1930's to the 1950's they paid a poll tax. If you bought a wireless or a telly, you had to pay a licence fee to the BBC (and went to prison if you didn't). This was irrespective of whether you listened to/watched BBC programmes but was actually quite popular because everyone was listening to/watching BBC programmes. There wasn't much choice. Also we liked living in a country where we were frightened of the detector vans and not the secret police. Frisson sans froideur, as Sartre put it. M J Sartre.

Then in 1955 ITV came out. It immediately took a ninety per cent share of the audience and the British public found themselves having to pay twice -- once for the licence fee and once by having to watch adverts on ITV. This was not popular. So the BBC upped its game and has enjoyed -- vis a vis ITV anyway -- a fifty/fifty share ever since. Nobody could ever explain why the BBC hadn't upped its game before but anyway a guaranteed large income from the licence fee meant it could outspend ITV and keep the market share.

Except now neither BBC nor ITV can compete with Sky, Netflix and all the other subscription models. What will happen? Not much, we've all got used to things the way they were. I, for one, am quite prepared to pay £150 per year to foster the illusion I live in a country with traditional values. I hate the traditional values but I like living in a country with them. Alles klaar, kameraden?
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Mick Harper
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White House Farm ITV-1

On tonight, it's the Jeremy Bamber case (Essex rich kid kills family). Of course the case comes round quite frequently but I draw it to your attention because while he probably did it, she might have done it. It's one of those cases that tests what 'beyond reasonable doubt' actually means. Which is whatever the needs of criminal justice requires. Not that that is wrong necessarily but even so...
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Mick Harper
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Silent Witness Joke of the Week

"Finish!"
"We've barely started."
"No, I mean he's from Finland."
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Mick Harper
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But the new series starts with that tired old scriptwriter's standby -- the investigator has personal links with the victim/perpetrator. What are the chances of that? Most of the time apparently. I am convinced that Emilia Fox has a clause in her contract that demands she must emote on screen for at least ten minutes every episode to showcase the range of her talents and, since the one thing a forensic investigator is supposed to be is dispassionate, every case has to involve something that allows her to go home and start blubbing. It would not be gallant of me to say that is the limit of her acting range. She does wistful awfully well, as well. Still, she'll soon be my age and she remains very attractive so I may nominate her for a Bafta and look her up backstage.
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Grant



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But how do you bear the sheer wokeness of it? The various black people in positions of authority or scientists? The disabled lab chief. It's all out of the badly written, PC, school of BBC scriptwriting.
Me, I'm finding myself watching Colombo and Kojak. Those were the days
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Mick Harper
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I nearly gave up with the opening shots of the black driver rushing towards the crash site since I knew I would have to spend most of the first episode trying to work out whether this was significant, e.g. it's a story about African mining interests, or not significant, i.e. the BBC filling its quota. But I gave up later due to lack of general interest. I quite like the disabled woman, a genuine original (though they've given her a make-up makeover for this series, I noticed), like that spectacularly deformed chap that does the restaurant reviews for one of the food programmes. Eat Often For Less, is it? One of them. Are there any visibly disabled newsreaders by the way? If not, why not?
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Mick Harper
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But I gave up later due to lack of general interest.

My digibox is so full I find I actually like it when I don't like it.
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Wile E. Coyote


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https://bit.ly/3062p0M
Independent wrote:

Ricky Gervais cheapened the Golden Globes – but worse he overshadowed vital political statements


Wiley has stopped following Al Jazeera, he now gets all his politics straight from the Golden Balls.
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Mick Harper
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I'm well into the Christmas backlog by now and have reached Britain's Favourite Cereals (Channel 5). The problem here is that like everyone else vaguely grown up I would never dream of eating cereal unless reminded to do so. At number twenty is Weetabix Crispy Minis. Frosted. Chocolate Chip or Fruit & Nut. I'll let you know tomorrowish.

Number nineteen... I've a feeling this isn't going to end well.
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Mick Harper
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Deadwater Fell (Channel 4)

Have you noticed that though ninety-eight per cent of the British population lives in towns, ninety-eight per cent of British crime dramas are set in brooding countryside. Thus reinforcing my campaign for physical controls at the M25.
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Mick Harper
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Jamie Redknapp and his wife have split up after nineteen years which has attracted banner headlines but I'm not sure whether it comes under television exactly. Television-related, I would think.
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Mick Harper
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Talking of over-emoting on Silent Witness, this week's SIO illustrates why women policemen should never be promoted beyond lollipop lady rank by emoting all over the place. Also I suspect her husband will have turned out to have done it and while that is not in itself a disciplinary offence, it does look bad on your record. I'd keep him out of it if I was you. We were then treated to the first, second and third law of crime dramas

1. the chief suspect always runs when he hasn't a prayer of getting away
2. he is always caught climbing a wire fence
3. he is always innocent

and I am saying this now when he's just been charged twenty minutes in. Oh, and by the way, Mr Forensic Officer, you don't have constabulary powers of arrest so I wouldn't make a habit of chasing people across carparks and then pulling them off wire fences or you'll soon be back to acting Forensic Officer.
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Mick Harper
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Catching a Killer: A Diary from the Grave (Channel 4)

I'm trying to work out whether, if this had happened to some close relative of mine who I saw on a regular though not a close basis, I would have suspected foul play while it was happening. Maybe I'm kidding myself but I rather think I would. Even perhaps as an AE-ist:

One: a young bloke moves in. Two young blokes move in. Now I've known this relative all my life. It's just not like him. Or rather, it's not like young men.
Two: the illness. Now I know -- we all know -- what gradual mental decline is like. Alzheimer, dementia, senility, call it what you like but it isn't like this.
Three: even if I didn't suspect foul play, I'd suspect the wallpaper or some other environmental factor and would have whisked him/her off for a month in the country or whatever.

But only, I suppose, if I cared enough. Aye, there's the rub.
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