AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

Yet another 'Where are all the Atlantic salmon?' feature on Countryfile (BBC1). The AE answer is "We've stopped clubbing baby seals". Why so? Because it's the one solution nobody's really allowed to think about. My God, it'll make the Cull-the-badgers-and-save-the-cows seem like a vicar's tea party (C of E). If true of course. I'd only put a small amount on it. Though I'd risk a medium sum on it being carefully ignored.

[Mick Harper]

In the olden days they used to throw animal parts into water courses to render them undrinkable to the enemy. Nowadays, according to Countryfile (still BBC1) they skewer the animal parts into the bed of the water course to increase nutrient levels. I'm staying neutral on this one.

[Mick Harper]

Today's News

I cannot help thinking that devoting the first fifteen minutes of Channel 4 News to the Jeremy Kyle Show is excessive no matter how important our morning fix is. Nobody died. Except that one bloke.

It left little room for the real news of the day: a California jury awarding "over two billion dollars for a couple's cancer". Would Bayer's due diligence team have even asked the question when taking over Monsanto last year? God knows how much it would have been if someone had died keeping the weeds down. Americans do love their lawns. I don't think Bayer or anyone else will be buying American companies very much in the future which is why it's called 'protectionism'.

[Mick Harper]

For those of you missing your quota of Belgian crime grime, I can recommend Undercover (Netflix). Even the civilians are low rent. Hard core fans can watch in Flemish with English subtitles but I find the English dubbed version is just about bearable. Everyone talks out of the side of their mouths anyway. One gripe though, they're all heterosexuals -- I didn't know where to look.

Best line: Undercover cop complaining about the partner they've chosen for him to shack up with for several months next to Mr Big's holiday mobile home (I did warn you): "Did she have to be Dutch?"

[Wile E. Coyote]

MHs DAFTA went to Follow the Money. I quite like it, but why on earth did they spend so much of Episode 1 convincing us that Nicky Rasmussen was being ultra careful to conceal his criminal activities....yet ensure he never blends with the crowd with that "look at me" haircut. He might as well have driven a car with a W1LLY plate. Maybe he wants to be caught?

CF. Assange.

[Mick Harper]

I think that was to mislead us. Remember, we were required to sit through about eight hours (of mainly thrilling speculation) before we discovered that Europe's Drugs Kingpin was assistant manager of a pizza parlour. Would you have watched if you knew? Double pepperoni and a side order of crack, please. And a Fanta.

[Mick Harper]

Years and Years BBC 1

One of the most pointless exercises I have ever come across on this 'drama' series: the radio playing in the background announces Doris Day just died. Which she just did in real life. What's this meant to do? I don't want to be reminded I'm watching a drama that the director wants me to think is bang up to date. I was assuming that anyway -- it's not a period drama or anything. Dramas are up to date by definition unless it's announced they aren't. Now I'm nervous about other pointlessly topical references jumping out and biting me unawares. Thanks, pal. I'll try to enjoy the rest of it but you're not helping.

[Mick Harper]

So now they're predicting men will be marrying men in 2022. Three years and the entire basis of human society will change apparently. Doris Day got out just in time.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Couple of seaside efforts Dont Forget the Driver and Back to Life. Each a post modern mash up of end of pier humour, and, err, Beachy Head type tragedy.

Something weirdly beautiful about both.

[Mick Harper]

Well, Years and Years turned out to be quite good -- even, I would judge, rather inventive. Inventive that is apart from the sheer number of standard BBC/liberal tropes (no other word will do, sorry). Let me list them in this sixty minute segment

inter-racial marriage (though the black wife being a right cow was a nice touch)
gay marriage (though again one of them being unfaithful was a nice touch and the other one being a conspiracy theory fruitcake was even better)
an immigrant cabdriver as good Samaritan
an adopted child of exotic extraction
a brilliant black 'story teller' who is going to become centre stage in the next episode
a transgender seeking mixed race daughter (though it turned out to be trans-human i.e. leaving one's body and going into The Cloud, don't ask, this is 2022)
a Nigel Farage clone doing unexpectedly well
a disabled woman of quite revoltingly telegenic positivity
an asylum stroke refugee camp
nuclear weapons, we would be better off without them
Donald Trump -- a terrifyingly dangerous lunatic

but they were coming so thick and fast I may have missed a few.

[Wile E. Coyote]

I do regret introducing you to tropes. You cant stop seeing the buggers. I really feel bad about this. I hope you will forgive me, rather than kick me in the balls.

[Mick Harper]

I can do both. I object to the word 'trope' being used as a cliché but it's entirely appropriate to use it for BBC clichés. Remember, we at the AEL have no objection to liberal attitudes, indeed we can't avoid having them ourselves since we were brought up on them, but we can (unlike liberals) identify them. And if necessary excoriate them.

In this case the problem is that the BBC is presenting us with realism, that is a real fictional family facing real issues both now and in the near future and inviting us to identify with them. But were we to belong to a family consisting entirely of gay, handicapped, black, transgender/ transhuman people held together by a mum who is straight out of lovable but dotty but shrewd but liberal (to gays) but illiberal to (blacks) except it may be just to daughter-in-laws central casting, then we'd probably be worrying about that rather than someone in Vietnam who is so far away from a tactical nuclear explosion she might as well have been at the North Pole for all the danger she's actually in. It doesn't stop you worrying though, does it, pet?

[Boreades]

[Mick Harper]

As per usual, Borry, you are leaping up the wrong tree. I am in no wise objecting to topicality -- it is essential whether in the Archers (whatever that is) or in BBC drama. It is in pretending that in a programme made months ago there would be a reference to an event that happened days ago and must therefore have been artificially, foolishly, wilfully and unnecessarily spatchcocked in at the last moment that is being objected to. Though the idea that agriculture could be topical is very amusing so we thank you for that.

[Mick Harper]

Could you all write a bit slower when you suspect country people might be involved.