Questions Of The Day (Politics)

[Mick Harper]

We are, I'm afraid, showing our age. The centre of political gravity has shifted sufficiently rightwards for (a) the stalwarts of the ERG to now be the decent middle of the Tory Party and (b) Labour to have no decent middle. Which is why I have switched my support to the noxious Sunak. He is, as far as I can see, the only political figure in Britain to be in favour of what used to be called 'sound money'. Whenever you hear politicians say

"We must grow our way out of trouble."
"Tax cuts will pay for themselves by stimulating the economy."
"Spending public money on long term infrastructure does not count towards a budget deficit."

and all the other ways of bribing the current electorate by taking money from the future electorate, you know you're in big trouble. When the people and the politicians are all on the same side there's no way out.

[Mick Harper]

It came as a shock to hear Jeremy Hunt again. Did he really come second last time round?

[Wile E. Coyote]

[Grant]

Jeremy Hunt is still using his “I’m a tech entrepreneur” schtick. Last time he tried it on Andrew Neil who said, with a sneer, “well it hardly makes you Bill Gates.” Jeremy’s sad deflated face was the high spot of the whole election for me

[Mick Harper]

Strange you should say that because it was his sad deflated face (and his sad, deflated 'schtick' generally) that so arrested my attention. I realised that you get so used to senior ministers working from official briefs and generally being important that you only notice the real man when he's been out of circulation for a bit and is reduced to his own devices.

I noticed it with Sajid who has always rather impressed me until a) he had to deliver his big set piece resignation speech (which was awful) and b) got interviewed as a candidate (and was awful).

I think generally it's called Angela Leadsom Syndrome.

[Mick Harper]

"Let's suddenly make it twenty supporters instead of eight."
"Should we be changing the rules in the middle of the race, Graham? A lot of people entered on the basis of the old ones. Also it might decide the next Prime Minister of this great country of ours."
"I read somewhere we've got to get a move on for some reason and this should save a day, maybe two."
"You're the boss, Graham."
"Not an obscure twat that ended up on a backbenchers committee because I was considered unfit for government office then?"

[Wile E. Coyote]

I was looking forward to a Kemi v Femi at the next General Election. But now Durham Police have let off Sir Keir, he won't resign, and this is not going to happen.

Anyway Michael Gove and Toby Young are backing Kemi Badenoch (KB4PM) mainly as she is rather good at putting social justice warriors like Femi in their place. She would no doubt savage Sturgeon when Nicola brought up about how evil the English were. Tempting.

[Mick Harper]

As your chief political correspondent, and probably the best informed commentator inside or outside the Westminster bubble, I was going to give my analysis of Ms Badenoch's candidacy, but unfortunately I'd never heard of her.

According to the bookies she will end up head to head with Ms Mordred so I'm going off to brush up on her. Speaking of bubbles, I used to bathe in Badenoch Bath Salts though I am given to understand Mr Zahawi has the launderers' vote in general sewn up. If he can find twenty Tory MP's with a history of offshore banking arrangements. Not counting the other candidates of course.

[Mick Harper]

Is Priti Patel going to fly through the middle?

[Grant]

Priti must terrify Labour. Bang goes another 500,000 Asian votes. I know Muslims don’t like voting for Hindus but there are lots of Moslem women who would support her. Plus she’d sew up the anti-immigration white working class voters. The only people who would be turned off are Guardian readers, but they’ve already made up their mind.
Plus I fancy her. Middle age does that to you

[Mick Harper]

Physical attraction is important in politics though we haven't gone as far as America where you have to be from Central Casting just to enter the primary for dogcatcher. It's a fact, attested to by a thousand blind trials, that we react more favourably to nice looking people than un-nice looking people.

The problem for women politicians is they grow old because it's also a fact that the kind of showy, blowsy looks of youthful Tories wowing them on the rubber neckers circuit degenerate faster than the good bone structure, tweedy looks of Tory wives. And we notice it! And we mark them down for it! Us being voters not men. Women are a lot more critical than us males/trans/thinking about it.

It's their own fault for deciding to run for office in a herd species (see Carl Linnaeus, B. F. Johnson et al). Trillions of years of Creationism has produced in human beings a keen sense of who's on the way up and who can be stomped on because they're on the way down. We cannot help ourselves, we are programmed that way.

Which is why I'm supporting Graham Brady. Finely chiselled features, effortlessly authoritative in front of the camera.

[Mick Harper]

At every devil-take-the-hindmost style election there are claims that Candidate A instructed some of his supporters to vote for Candidate B in order to keep Candidate C out of the next round. The last time it was done in a Westminster leadership race was allegedly to make sure Jeremy Corbyn got through so it's not an exact science.

[Mick Harper]

What planet is Kemi Badenoch from? Whichever one it was she can go back to it asap. Honestly, these people! They come over here, they get born in our finest hospitals, they get educated in our grandest schools, they speak in our poshest accents, they try to take over our most revered political parties by delivering top quality claptrap, and not a word of thanks. Not. One. Word. Well, Little Miss Badenough, I've got one word for you. Git!

(Subject to change)

[Mick Harper]

I'm getting bored with Penny Mordaunt.

[Grant]

Sunak is finished. He’s the obvious vote for aspiring Tory MPs but he gets just 88 supporters. Even Penny Mordaunt gets 67.
He’d be lucky to get 20% of the votes of ordinary party members.