Questions Of The Day (Politics)

[Grant]

I think Scotland is such a corrupt place that the police would not have dared to arrest any high-ranking SNP politicians unless they were bang to rights.

And Sturgeon would never have resigned unless she knew they had convincing evidence.

Only question is can the husband take the blame himself?

[Mick Harper]

The Scots corrupt? They haven't got the brains for it.

[Mick Harper]

Victoria Derbyshire: Is Labour really going to scrap the Rwanda policy if it turns out to be effective?
Labour supporter: I'm going to refuse to answer that question, Victoria, on the grounds that it it is intensely embarrassing and I'm pretty sure you won't make me.
Victoria Derbyshire: I won't press you on that.
Labour supporter: In any case it's wildly expensive.
Victoria Derbyshire: I'm not goin to point out that if the Rwanda policy is working it won't be costing us a penny.
Labour supporter: I knew I could rely on you, Vicky, you're one of us.

[Mick Harper]

The bogusness of the (now) anti-Post Office orthodoxy is reaching new heights. Everybody keeps wanging on about whether Fujitsu had remote access to sub-postmasters' accounts. As if that had anything to do with sub-postmasters filching money from them. If anyone thinks that companies who set up and maintain software systems don't have access to all parts of it--whether officially or unofficially--they are not fit to run (a) a sub-post office (b) the Post Office or (c) an official judicial enquiry.

When witnesses claim they had no recollection of receiving emails saying Fujitsu did have this power, they ought to be believed. It was one of the less important emails they received that day all those years ago.

[Mick Harper]

[Wile E. Coyote]

Labour supporter: In any case it's wildly expensive.
Victoria Derbyshire: I'm not goin to point out that if the Rwanda policy is working it won't be costing us a penny.

There will be a cost whether Rwanda is effective or not. Because of legislation delays you now have approx 40,000 folks with letters saying they can be flown out to Rwanda. You have to now round all these up, detain them in centres, and transport them out. Unless. that is. you give an amnesty, heyho UK is giving a blanket amnesty to Asylum seekers. Now that would get the boats going again.........

[Mick Harper]

There is something even before that. In order to be a deterrent, the comeuppance must be swift. People currently on Plage des Migrants will have heard the Rwanda Bill has been given the royal nod and a VC-10 of RAF Transport Command is revving up on the tarmac at Manston.

"All aboard that's coming aboard."
"What about this Rwanda thing?"
"There are 40,000 ahead of you in the queue."
"So how long have we got in the promised land?"
"At least six years if the Tories win the election."
"And if Labour wins?"
"Sky's the limit."
"Two adults and three children, please."

[Wile E. Coyote]

They have 2000 beds in detention centres to make a start, just a small problem, those beds are already full with, err, serious offenders who are due to be deported, you know, the ones that were let in and have served time for serious crimes, so we are already detaining pending fly out. Wiley remembers the last time we tried to fly out 51, after legal challenges and a mass protest outside the detention centre, 4 (the ones that wanted to leave?) actually got on the plane.

So I guess we will just have to notify some folks in writing when their planes are taking off, and hope they arrive.

How do you say in farsi........

"Please leave at least 2 hours for check in, as you won't want to miss your flight to Rwanda........and....don't forget your toothbrush! "

[Wile E. Coyote]

I reckon Humza has hit on a fresh original idea. You fire two Green Party ministers and also break with them as useless coalition partners, so reducing your majority to 0, then cunningly "reach out" to the same folks to assist you with defeating an opposition "No confidence motion".

I don't think this has ever been tried before.

[Wile E. Coyote]

The SNP problem is Nicola Redivivus, they wanted another Sturgeon, much in the same way that the Tory membership want Thatcher Redivivus.

Humza won't be the last to hope he is the new Nicola.

[Wile E. Coyote]

The SNP problem is now the Greens are their new overlords. To save time they might as well get them to shortlist which of any new SNP leader would now be acceptable.

"Sorry Kate Forbes, nice lady, but it's a "no" from us"

"Thanks, I will let Kate know she is not Green or Nicola enough to stand"

"I didn't say she could not stand"

"Gotcha, she can stand, but not win"

"Um, I didn't say that either"

"Gotcha, she can stand and win, but then you will support a no confidence measure against the SNP, putting us out of power"

"You might possibly think that, I could not comment"

[Mick Harper]

It might be interesting to find out why transgender issues are so Green. If I know anything about the way the political mind works I'm prepared to bet that Scottish Greens would rather the earth burned up in a fiery ball than somebody wasn't allowed to do whatever it is.

[Mick Harper]

So Hamza has gone. He came across like a used car salesmen. He'll be hard to replace in Scotland. They may have to turn to John Swinney, a used car.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Coincidentally, Police Scotland found a used motorhome, that was found parked up behind the famous newer one that was intended to replace it.

Not a lot of people paid attention to that at the time as it was siad it was due to be scrapped.

If it is now driven, as it is in better nick than the newer vehicle, MacScribbler will start asking questions, again and again, about both homes.

Better now to purchase a totally new vehicle, whistle "King of the Road" and see where you end up.

But they won't.

[Mick Harper]

The winner of the Blackpool by-election described himself, very old-fashionedly, as Labour & Co-op. This harks back to the days of the pre-Labour Party when it was a loose amalgam of socialists, trade unionists, the Co-op movement and other dribs and drabs. (There was even a Zionist section, I seem to remember.) In the Labour Party proper, the Co-op paid for and sponsored a number of MP's throughout the twentieth century, though this is the first I have heard of it in recent times.

The Co-op was (yet another) British invention--it is actually pre-Victorian--and was a great success both here and elsewhere. Nowadays it's total crap, the model is simply unsustainable no matter how much they wriggle. I was brought a whole bunch of its gear by friends when I was ill and was shocked how crap.

So it's no wonder its latest wheeze, buying the naming rights for the Co-op Arena in Manchester (its old heartland) should have bought it acres of bad publicity. What's next, the Hindenburg airship?