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CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

Hello,

You have asked us to keep you up to date on the problem which is affecting your Telephone and TV service(s).
The latest update is: We have identified the problem and an engineer is on their way
We now expect to have this resolved by 2022-11-24T15:00:00

The Virgin Media Team
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Mick Harper
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Yes It Does

Hello,

You have asked us to keep you up to date on the problem which is affecting your Telephone and TV service(s).
The latest update is: We have identified the problem and an engineer is on their way
We now expect to have this resolved by 2022-11-24T20:00:00

The Virgin Media Team

It comes at eight o'clock tonight. They've never said that before so it must mean something. Although in Pavlov's experiments, didn't he...
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Mick Harper
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They Were Only Toying With Me

Hello,

You have asked us to keep you up to date on the problem which is affecting your Telephone and TV service(s).
The latest update is: We have identified the problem and an engineer is on their way
We now expect to have this resolved by 2022-11-28T20:00:00

The Virgin Media Team

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Mick Harper
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This is how we do it at publishing@aelibrary ©

Wednesday, 16 November
Ten copies of Revisionist Historiography ordered
Books printed in Wroclaw, Poland

Tuesday, 22 November
5:53 pm books arrive at Garbsen, Hannover, Germany
8:35 pm books depart Garbsen

Wednesday, 23 November
1:18 am customs clearance process at Bierset, Belgium
8:23 am customs clearance process at Rochester, GB

Thursday, 24 November
2:32 am books arrive at Rochester facility
4:06 am books depart Rochester
6:46 am books arrive at Neasden delivery station

Friday, 25th November
Books delivered to M J Harper by 8 pm

We hope.
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Mick Harper
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I have reached a rare plateau of satisfaction. All the technical snafus of book production are over and now I can sit back and watch whether the latest will be a success or not. Does this depend on whether it is a 'good' book? It does not. I am satisfied it is a good book given all the normal parameters, and given what I regard to be the definition of 'a success'. It depends on the marketing campaign. People never understand that the Big Battle is never on the creativity side but on the 'will people ever get to see it?' side. What is our marketing strategy? It is essentially

(a) to send emails to academic libraries urging librarians to stock their shelves with a copy and
(b) to send emails to academics with an interest in the subject matter so they will either buy a copy for themselves or do (a).
The theory being that in combination this will create sufficient 'buzz' for the book to sell (or at any rate, to be read) self-sustainably.

This may sound a somewhat desperate enterprise but then launching anything into a market to compete with 100,000 similar launches every year is always a desperate enterprise, as any publisher of any book (or film or pop record or stage play or cable channel TV programme or, indeed, any consumer nick-nack) will tell you. Just how desperate this one is, is as follows...
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Mick Harper
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An academic or an academic librarian will receive an email. The first battle is to avoid going straight into the spam folder. There appears to be no way of eliminating this possibility for at least some of the emails. Next battle: to persuade the recipient not to regard it as spam or similar and delete it unread. Again there seems no way of avoiding this fate in respect of some of the emails. However, I am satisfied that some people with a professional interest in the contents of Revisionist Historiography will be appraised of the existence of Revisionist Historiography. What then?

The email urges them to Look Inside the book using the very useful Amazon feature that allows them to do this. (A link is embedded in the email.) They will be able to read, courtesy of Amazon (the publisher has no control over it)

* the list of chapters -- the titles of which are mildly intriguing but somewhat off-putting from a strictly academic point of view
* the first chapter which is ditto
* the Appendix which is wildly ditto
* the Index which is, by any standards, academically impressive.

What will they do next? That I just don't know. You can try the exercise here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Revisionist-Historiography-M-J-Harper/dp/0954291166 to judge for yourself.
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Grant



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I’ve just bought a copy. It better be good for 35 squids
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Mick Harper
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No, Grant, you'd better be good, you're being invited into a privileged elite. It remains to be seen whether you are worthy.
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Mick Harper
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Best Sellers Rank: 98,218 in Books
63 in Historiography

It was in the three hundred thousands only yesterday. At this rate it will be No 1 by the time the Sunday Times listings come out at the end of the week and I'll be accused of populism. You can't win in this game.
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Mick Harper
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Remember, Grant and others (others? that'll be the day), if you decide to leave comments on the Amazon page or elsewhere, do not under any circumstances refer to a connection with me or familiarity with my previous works. I would rather you didn't comment -- favourably or unfavourably -- than do this. It fuels the idea of a coterie which is disastrous PR-wise.
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Mick Harper
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Great new contribution to Kennedy Assassination Syndrome [© Revisionist Historiography] here https://medium.com/@homicide-inc/jfks-forgotten-murdered-lover-the-mary-pinchot-meyer-mystery-b2c2add2fbcc Not so much interesting in itself but interesting in that I, an ex-aficionado, had never heard of it. Truly this hydra-headed beast still stalks the land. For those of you yet to receive your books

You will be faced with voluminous evidence attesting to their ancient existence but, again, do not be discouraged. This is down to Kennedy Assassination Syndrome: evidence accrues proportional to demand or in the case of conspiracy theories proportional to the number of people looking for it. A profusion of evidence is a good thing, it means you can start from the presumption that large proportions of it will be bogus because Dark Ages did not get their name by producing profusions of evidence.
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Mick Harper
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Just for you, Mr Harper
Double points
on your next two shops
before 24th December

It was very nice of the Tesco Card people to send me this but it seems a considerable expense to produce such a colourful brochure just for me. I'd much rather they spent the money on people more deserving at this, the festive season, and our country being in such a parlous state.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Maybe its because of your in depth product reviews on AE? I cant wait to find out what you make of the Tesco Plant Chef breaded Goujons at £1.50. According to Tesco "The Plant Chef Derek Sarno (yes that Dereck!) is the culinary talent transforming crowd pleasing classics into 100% plant based dishes with big, bold flavours that pack a tasty punch." Dereck has hit on a culinary golden formula of 80% "healthy" 20% "wicked". Crumbs! That is wicked breadcrumbs moulded around succulent strips of plant based chick'n. Bit like a healthy McNugget but sexed up??
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Mick Harper
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There are certain things I won't touch because of healthy food taboos. Anything organic, anything 'plant-based', anything foreign other than takeaways, meat other than chicken, pork or beef, fish other than cod or tinned. I avoided goujons for years until I discovered they were elongated chicken nuggets. I'm a straight up-and-down, meat and potatoes, sex with the light off sort of bloke. I'm a man's man, Wiley, you're more of a wife's man. Bit of a Paul McCartney, if you don't mind my saying so.

That's why I'm in such high demand as a food guru. Everyone wants to be like me but consumerism won't let them.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Mick Harper wrote:
I'm a straight up-and-down, meat and potatoes, sex with the light off sort of bloke. That's why I'm in such high demand as a food guru.


I see that now, there is a ceratin rustic honesty in all this.
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