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CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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"You're seldom in the presence of greatness unless you're on your own."
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Mick Harper
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Theory of the Week

Why did British musicals dominate Broadway in the eighties and nineties?
Because AIDS was killing off all the native talent.

(Talking head, On Broadway, Sky Documentaries)
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Mick Harper
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I thought it time to reveal my true fascist beast qualities on medium.com where things are going well but too cosily. I was given the opportunity by this

David St Vincent wrote:
White men of means seem compelled to work their family struggles into casual conversations, at least with Black men around. At whatever golf course clubhouse you may be sitting in on any given day, some self-satisfied, cigar-chomping, try-hard, douchebag in the group is bound to get around to his great grandfather who “came here with six cents in his pocket and couldn’t even speak English.” Of course, the unspoken message is ‘And look at how swell we are doing now! If you lazy, shiftless negroes would just work hard like we did, you wouldn’t need to ask the government to do anything for you.’

Mick Harper wrote:
"If you lazy, shiftless negroes would just work hard like we did, you wouldn’t need to ask the government to do anything for you."
On the other hand, this is true.

David St Vincent wrote:
Mick, clearly you have made a decision to be incendiary and provocative. That is not good faith engagement. I do my best to write for an audience that has a level of exposure and decorum that promotes a healthy dialogue. Apparently, my writing is not for you. If you cannot do better than this, your engagement is no longer welcome. Good faith, rational disagreements are encouraged on my page of this platform. Bullshit stupidity like what you just posted is not. Step up your game or step off the page.

Mick Harper wrote:
It was a statement of fact made in good faith (however incendiary and provocative). Unless you indicate I have made an error of fact, I cannot take the matter further.

David St Vincent wrote:
That is the first smart thing you have said. Indeed, you should not take the matter any further. If you think the descendants of the enslaved are a lazy people as a group, you are clearly ill equipped to engage my writing. See yourself out, Mick.

Mick Harper wrote:
I pointed out that there is a correlation between working hard and not requiring a government handout. It's still a statement of fact and you still you haven't pointed out my error. But I'll stick around for a bit. You are, in my judgement, redeemable. As, no doubt, am I.

David St Vincent wrote:
Sure, Mick. Stick around. The more of my work you read the better off you will be. And I was deathly afraid that I was not redeemable. Now that you say I am, with your snarky and sneaky presence on this platform, I am relieved. If you ever write anything, I will be sure to read it. If it is worth anything, I will share my insights.

A score draw, I thought. Notice his beautiful non-loss of temper. For my own part, unlike Firebrand Harriet, I know how to skate on thin ice without being banned. But meanwhile...
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Mick Harper
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Owen Thompson wrote:
Mike, can you explain to readers of this article re: "lazy, shiftless negroes", how you have determined that this is true. Is your statement relating to the general black population, or aimed at a small percentage. If it is indeed true can you corroborate this with legitimate and written evidence. If not, do not tarnish this forum with uneducated, narrow minded, and possibly racist statements. The real truth is that many blacks are turned away when applying for "real" cognitive, responsible and managerial jobs. Why? because it is preferred, that blacks are supposed to keep their place in white society. I hope this educates you a little bit.

Mick Harper wrote:
I would hardly need educating in such well-known facts. But I say again, "If lazy, shiftless negroes worked harder they would need fewer government handouts." It is important to bear in mind that racists are as capable of making true statements as any one else. The fact that they do say such things has the tendency for non-racists to assume they are untrue by association. Finally, just to wrap things up, it behoves us all to recognise that racism is part of the human condition.

I will report on further developments though I do not anticipate there will be any.
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Mick Harper
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I got an apology from my Yodel deliveryman today. For being ten days late with my monthly Vype subscription? No, because he hadn't listened to my warnings about Mikel Arteta. "And don't even think about a Christmas box this year," I told his departing back.

Deliverymen! Since Covid they think they're the Lords of the Universe.
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Mick Harper
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Stat of the Week

With all the agricultural subsidies paid by the US government you could fly every cow in France twice round the world business class.
Al-Jazeera expert on Counting the Cost

He didn't say whether Frequent Flyer airmiles was factored in. Or even whether they are allowed to fly at the posh end. Surely they are better suited to the part of the plane I use, often referred to as Cattle Class.
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Grant



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The saddest thing about race relations is the realisation that one single white woman, Marie Curie, born in the sexist nineteenth century when she was supposed to stay in the kitchen, made a greater contribution to the world of science, technology, engineering and mathematics than the collective contribution of every black person who has ever lived
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Mick Harper
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You've done the sums, have you? Was it a wide margin or a narrow one? I ask because when compiling what is generally known as the Bush League we may have to slot in other entries in between, and I have a personal stake. You have established

Marie Curie
black people

But since Marie Curie is white her contribution to the world of science, technology, engineering and mathematics counts towards the sum total of white people's contributions to the world of science, technology, engineering and mathematics which must therefore be greater than hers. Giving us

white people
Marie Curie
black people

I appreciate I currently rank below Marie Curie, but did I beat black people?
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Grant



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No. George Washington Carver developed new ways of using peanuts. He’s got you beat
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Mick Harper
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I once asked a close family relative who was (a) a liberal and (b) a scientist what he made of a list of the world's top ten greatest scientists I showed him. It contained inter alia (that's how we talk in my family) Marie Curie and George Washington Carver.

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily have chosen these particular ten but what's your point?"
"Would George Washington Carver be in your top ten?"
"Possibly not."
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Mick Harper
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In the Zoom Family Quiz I could not remember the name of... and writing this I still cannot remember the name of ... I'm going to have to look it up ... it's driving me slightly nuts. I will try an experiment. I won't look it up and see when or whether it pops back into my mind. It's the American football star that murdered his wife and her physio and the trial of and and programmes about I have spent more hours watching than perhaps any other man living. Still nothing.
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Mick Harper
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O J Simpson. It came as soon as I opened Word to start on the finishing rites to my book. Perhaps I should put him in the index. That'll learn me.
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Mick Harper
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When Intellects Collide
(about the Trumpian Riot in Congress last year)

Intellect One: Let me assure you, as a student of insurrections, that there is a difference between some bums spending a few hours making whoopee and an insurrection. However if you do want to bring on an insurrection I can assure you, as an authority on the subject, that the best thing to do it is to overreact to bums making whoopee.

Intellect Two: This is hardly as enlightening as you intend.
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Mick Harper
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Shopping News

I have just purchased my first pack of 'wraps'. Fifteen seconds in the microwave. That's my idea of food preparation. Also my first pack of brioche burger buns. Better than oven bottoms but not worth rejoining the EU for.
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Mick Harper
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There was a discussion on medium.com about how mis-spelling is the bane of the 'professional' writer, and I rather wittily put in this rejoinder

Nah, man, it's typing 'em wrong that's the killer. I spell like a bee, I type like a BF.

Assuming that while the average medium.com reader wouldn't know that BF stands for 'bloody fool' they would look it up. When a few weeks later I got some responses, I looked it up myself only to discover it now stands for 'boyfriend'. Even the slang dictionary has no record of 'bloody fool'. Time marches on! And makes a friend of us all.
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