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Questions Of The Day (Politics)
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Mick Harper
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Yes, I fear you are right. We must get used to having our leaders chosen by desk sergeants. It would make a difference if Starmer was personally popular or even an electoral asset. If he was either something would be cobbled together. As it is he will have to go with our best wishes while we wait to see what tomfoolery the Labour Party next serves up for our baffled inspection. But if you think he or she will be some incomparable combination of weirdness and dullness wait and see who Boris's successor will be.

Maybe our great offices of state should be lottery prizes. Not one of the big ones obviously but an alternative to, say, winning £250 on a scratch card. I'd do a six month stint as Culture Secretary for that. But I'd want my own desk and a subsidised canteen. And a car to and from. My back's been giving me awful gyp. In fact, sod it. I'm not going to do it. They've got a cheek even asking.
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Mick Harper
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We must not be complacent Nadhim Zahawi, Secretary of State for Education.

On the contrary, Nadir, that's exactly what you should be. Most of the harm done is when people panic and start looking at how to win over Mondeo Man or whatever. Whatever happened to him anyway? Bought by the Japanese I suppose.

Oh and by the way, Nads, you're next in line for PM so don't even think about scuttling off back to Iraq or whatever hellhole you come from. We've got all the harbours and airports watched.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Whilst I am always in favour of new thinking, Wiley can't help thinking that until Putin actually declares a war, his troops will struggle. Putin seems to have bought into this new idea of hybrid warfare (Gerasimov doctrine), and can't see that this might work in a messy chaotic civil war like Syria, but not in a more conventional war (for that is surely what it is) against Ukraine. If Russia had done the basics from the start, with declaring a war, mobilising both the Russian military and civilian population, using force maximisation, destroying key infrastructure, and logistics, etc they would, no doubt, have been in Kiev, knocking back vodka by now. Need to keep it simple and obvious.
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Mick Harper
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You're wasted as the CIGS of a small offshore island like ours, Wiley.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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It won't be a small island, by the time we have retaken Angers.
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Mick Harper
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You twat. Now they'll be waiting for us.
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Mick Harper
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Ah, I see. That's what you want them to think. Clever.
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Mick Harper
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Does anyone remember Crossrail? I was reminded of it watching the new Secrets of the London Underground series and wondered what had happened to it. I'd even forgotten the name but I remembered it was called the Elizabeth Line so I googled that only to find that it is opening this month.

It is years late and all because of what they call 'signalling problems'. I pointed out at the time this was not possible because the amount of signalling complexity on such a simple system is negligible and signalling is anyway such a known art that they could have put in a slower, i.e. with less headway between trains, anytime they wanted. I'm saying all this because there's something up that they're not telling us about and maybe we'll find out now it's opening. But I doubt it.

Signed
M J Harper
ex-Leading Hand, St John's Wood, Jubilee Line
ex-Station Supervisor, Ladbroke Grove, Hammersmith & City Line
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Grant



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The rumour is that during the dig they uncovered an alien space craft. Fortunately the Covid bug was deadly to the invaders
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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The Russians need to declare a war. No doubt they were hoping to take the Ukrainians by surprise with their river pontoon crossings under potential enemy artillery bombardment, and feared that a "declaration" would signal to the Ukrainians they were trying for a massive breakthrough, but this has now failed twice. They are trying the most complicated stuff (surprise high risk river crossings) when if they have the overwheming numbers (this was after all the point of the "feints" to tie the Ukrainians to defend key cities like Kiev and Kharkiv) they really shouldn't need to do this. Why try risky stuff when you don't need to?

A good big guy will normally beat a small good guy in a fist fight, he doesn't need to be smarter.

Perhaps it is because Putin is only five foot five?
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Wile E. Coyote


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Capture of Mariupol is a major achievement for Russians, it will free up forces for trying to reinforce iniative along another axis. Some confusion from Wiley about whether it was a conditional or unconditional surrender.
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Mick Harper
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There is some confusion as to whether it is any kind of surrender, on my reading. Zelensky said they were leaving but all I saw is the halt and the lame being taken into the tender care of the Russians. Followed by the ominous words (on Al-Jazeera) "leaving an estimated fifteen hundred members of the Azov brigade remaining".

If I know anything about neo-Nazis they are not predisposed to obey a soi-distant Jewish president telling them to place themselves in the hands of people who, the last time it happened, butchered the lot and, according to a bloke in the Russian parliament yesterday, should be butchered this time too. Me, I'd hunker down for a bit and see what gives. But if events have proved me wrong already then, as President Zelensky, said, 'Already, already.'
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Mick Harper
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Al-Jazeera reported from Cuba that enormous queues are forming daily outside foodshops. Interviewed, queuers at different queues said "Cooking oil" and "Chicken", "Five hours" and "All day". Asked for her opinion whether the situation would be ameliorated following President Biden's announcement that sanctions would be eased, a Glasgow academic doubted it.

I can only agree with her. If Cubans have not found alternative sources for cooking oil or chicken elsewhere than the USA in sixty years, I shouldn't think they will be able to do so any time soon.
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Mick Harper
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Late breaking news. It was a double whammy, sanctions and Covid. Again I can only agree. How well I remember the horn of plenty that Havana was back in the glory days of 2019 when we drove to the queues in bright shiny Buicks.
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Mick Harper
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Those who are worried about this year's wheat shortage should really be worrying about the year after next. Next year every farmer and his dog will be sowing every spare corner they can find with wheat because of the sky high wheat prices. The price of wheat will therefore crash to levels not seen since the Neolithic and they will all go bust. So no wheat the following year.

Farmers never learn this. Some of you will remember the Great Potato Dearth of the seventies when a scorching something or other was followed by a wet something else and potato prices reached prices not seen since the days of Sir Walter Raleigh. I was living on a farm at the time, and the farmer chortled to me, "I've never grown spuds but this is the time to do it."

He never got to harvest them because all his farmer chums had done the same thing, the price had crashed to pre-Sir Walter Raleigh levels, and it wasn't worth doing anything but ploughing them back in. "Aye, they'll make champion compost, will they."
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