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AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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Grace (ITV)

All right, I know, it's by the numbers, but I'm all right with that. What I'm not all right with is a psychopath working in the forensic path lab who's going to off the tortured cop's love interest before he's got his leg halfway over. I'm only halfway through Episode Two myself and the mortuary attendant (carefully introduced to us as 'new' and 'ex-abattoir') has just peered through the mortuary door at the disappearing figures of tortured cop and love interest 'going for a drink'. We all know what that means. A mackeson for him and a gin-and-it for her.

If this is what happens I will be throwing my brand new telly over Beachy Head (it's me or it -- no, there's no need for a vote). But if the psychopath turns out to be related to either a) the billionaire bondage bloke storyline or (b) the mystery woman found floating underneath Brighton's West Pier subplot (which may turn out to be the main plot) and not (c) Detective Chief Superintendent "Amazing" Grace, I will give it another episode.

My rule is a firm one: give it a chance until the main character becomes the main character.
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Grant



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I did like the way they resurrected the old trope of “grizzled middle-aged white male character gets off with young bit of totty”. I thought that was now illegal.
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Mick Harper
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Yes, it gives hope to young totty everywhere.
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Mick Harper
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I haven't got that far yet but I did notice that the programme-makers made the male lead just young-looking enough not to be a grizzled oldie and the love interest just non-tottyesque enough to evoke pangenderist criticism. This being ITV, the lead is white male and the sidekick black male, leaving only their boss to be black female. This being Brighton-set, it is disgraceful they are not all green gays.
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Mick Harper
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It was the old 'identical triplets separated at birth with the third one recorded over the page so nobody noticed with the second one dying because he didn't take his inhaler to a millennium celebration and put everyone off the scent while the first one became a billionaire tycoon' plotline. Used in Frost, I seem to remember, but it was well time to be given another airing.
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Mick Harper
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Britain's Top Takeaways (BBC2)

Yes, you read that right. BBC-2. In terms of culture and innovation this programme would scarcely have snuck into the old Channel 5 schedules. BBC-2 is now the new Channel 5 and not, as I was assured by the talleyman when he came round for my licence fee this week, for culture and innovation.

Even so, I had to watch since takeaways play a regrettably large part in my life. Not any more if this programme is anything to go by. They weren't takeaways at all, they were specialities created in a mock-up studio by people who were clearly chefs bucking for Michelin stars not my measly money. But now for the twist.

Their exotic fare was then biked to families sitting round the table for judgement. Judging several takeaway meals one after another I thought rather favoured the first one sampled but they were quite fat families so I may be wrong about that.
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Mick Harper
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Fever Pitch (BBC R4X)

Oh good, I thought Nick Hornby's book about being an Arsenal fan. It was excellent when I read it all those years ago but it will be better now that I actually am an Arsenal fan. I was Charlton-Athletic-till-I die back then. And to have it read to me in soothing tones as I dropped off to sleep... can one ask for anything more? Yes. Not to have Nick Hornby read it to me. Or anyone not trained in public speaking. Try to imagine Charley George had written it.

Why do radio and TV producers always do this. It's a series on Venice, let's get an Italian chef to do it. It was great for the first minute, very authentic. But after that I wanted to hear what was being said about Venice and that means a trained actor. Or at any rate an experienced voice performer. Nick is a trained writer. Do you see the difference? Writing (hand), speaking (mouth). Actually it would have been better if Charley George had read it. Not because he's a trained performer (foot) but because I could have got used to a London urchin accent in the way you can get used to a black Richard III.

But not, as it were, listening to myself trying desperately not to sound as though it isn't some educated Estuarine twat reading aloud. Blimey, even kids forced to undergo "Oh, Mick, she'd love it if you read Jemimah Puddleduck to her in bed" recoil from that. Though they always say it is because they suspect I'm a paedophile rather than hurting my feelings by telling me I've got a crap reading voice.

Anyway Nick Hornby was unbearable after less than a minute. PS My next DVD with me spieling for an hour is next on the stocks.
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Mick Harper
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It's war!
1. Ukraine - Kalush Orchestra: Stefania
2. UK - Sam Ryder: Space Man
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Mick Harper
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The Duchess of Malfi (BBC4)

One of my earliest (voluntary) theatrical experiences was watching Bob Hoskins in (or possibly trying to get up, I can't remember) the Duchess of Malfi at the Roundhouse. So seeing it as a BBC production and from the 'Globe' will be a crashing disappointment. But these things have to be borne.

Also, straight after, The Mysterious Mr Webster, might be of interest to fake hounds though as it is by 'Professor' James Shapiro it is sure to be a crashing disappointment.
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Mick Harper
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The King of Warsaw (Walter presents, Channel 4)

This looks highly good. It's the first treatment I've ever seen of Jewish life in Poland without any holocaustal overlay -- it's set in 1937. I can't tell how authentic it is but showing Jews to be a) villainous and (b) poor is a promising start. Though it is the novelty of Poland without a the-Nazis-are-coming overlay that I found even more interesting.
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Mick Harper
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The Reckoning (BBC Radio 4X)

Ooh, three hours on the Life and Death of Christopher Marlowe. Deevine. Catch up on the first part here https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017cds
where already that nexus of forgers Corpus Christi, Cambridge and Mathew "the Archbishop" Parker are heavily involved.
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Mick Harper
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Weird goings on at Virgin. Due to my complaining about no footie at the start of Covid, they gave me free Sky movies for eighteen months as a sop. That comes to an end next month so they instructed me to ring if I wanted to discontinue them. This would be a small wrench but once you've watched the back catalogue it's not worth the forty a month to hang around for new stuff. So I rang.

The bloke got in a bit of a tizzy -- they always do if you are even minorly non-standard -- and I ended up continuing to pay my standard amount but keeping the movies plus they pay my Netflix subscription plus they install a new super-duper fast broadband boxtop thingy (I'd been stuck in the super-fast slow lane all this time) plus I get access to some other stuff which I don't remotely understand.

I would call it a triumph but I am suspicious when it's not only a free lunch but they pay you to eat it.
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Mick Harper
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I have discovered the 'other stuff' includes eighteen months free use of an O2 5G sim card which appears to cost everyone else £45 a month. What it will ultimately cost me must await my finding out what 'O2', '5G' and 'sim card' means.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Night Sky: Amazon Prime

The main problem, if episode 1 is anything to go by, is that the slow moving bits where J.K. Simmons and Sissy Spacek are simply sitting in front of the enchanting stars, reflecting about their times and fears, are way more facinating than the stranger, the annoying neighbour, and the space portal that appears to be buried in their backyard.

I fear that we might get way too much action in future episodes.
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Mick Harper
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I once signed up to Amazon Prime for a 28-day free approval so I could watch Philip Dick's Man in a High Castle, duly cancelled the sub, and got an email back saying "Sorry you didn't etc etc". Only to discover eighteen months later they were still taking the subs. I got it back eventually but swore off Amazon Prime for life.

But you know me. Is it worth enrolling on Amazon Prime? Can I get it in 5G? Does it cost 5G?
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