CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)

[Mick Harper]

If a raspberry mini roll is one of your five-a-day, how many would you need to eat? To be on the safe side.

[Mick Harper]

More Raspberry Adventures

I was coming towards the end of the box (I'd had people round) when I realised with a sinking heart I had reached the very last one. "That'll do champion for a bedtime snack," I thought (I'd been watching Kes on Talking Pictures). I removed it and disposed of the box responsibly.

When the time came, quite soon afterwards actually, I reached for it. Nowhere to be found! I know what you're thinking because I thought it myself -- I'd already eaten it. But I know me a lot better than you do so I continued groping around until there was only one place left. Underneath me. And so it proved. I cannot pretend it didn't make a difference.

[Wile E. Coyote]

It looks like one of Britain's "most wanted", Sarah Panitzke, has been nabbed in Spain. Sarah's crime was to be part of a criminal VAT scam, ie you buy mobiles without VAT, flog them to someone with added VAT, and then something happens.... e.g. you close your company down (offshore account) so you are unable to pay VAT to the government. The criminal gang gets the VAT.....it's highly profitable

Darius Guppy was convicted of a similar crime, only he used gold bullion.

This is of course no different to many scams, it's just the scale, the ingenuity, and the fact that Sarah absconded during trial (which wasn't difficult as the courts had previously failed to take her passport off her, and allowed her to travel to Spain). Once gone, they, the courts, then ordered her to pay back an additional 2.5 million and gave her another 9 years in her absence... So she is facing a longish stretch, although no doubt there will be a book contract at the end of it. "On the run" or some such.

If only her dad had sent Sarah to her local comp she wouldn't have had the skillset to help pull this scam. But, unfortunately, papa had acquired money after becoming involved in multiple council house buying frauds (for which he also was later convicted) and so he had the means to send her to private school. Sarah was apparently a popular girl, a good networker (bit like Ghislane) but then off she went to Spain and fell in with wrong types.

If you met her in a Spanish bar, she would be a right giggle. Not exactly the White Widow is she?

[Mick Harper]

On the Run. The White Widow. You're obviously a dab hand with book titles, Wiley. Just look at your own chosen nom d'internet. I wonder if you could lend your expertise to one of our new launches. The working title is Rewriting History: A Revisionist's Guide but if you could come up with something racier, we'd be obliged. There'll be a drink in it for you so include your favourite glass size.

[Mick Harper]

My computer is taking longer and longer to 'load up' which I suspect is because of 'load down'. The current sky high energy prices has probably led the government to start surreptitiously cutting what is called 'the national wattage' i.e. the speed electricity is sent round 'the national grid' as it is called. I won't bore you with stories about the miners' strike but some of us have been through it all before. People used to laugh when I started collecting oil barrels 'as an investment'. At $119 a throw I think it's me that's smiling now.

[Wile E. Coyote]

[Wile E. Coyote]

OK I will get the ball rolling......

"A shocking history of history."

[Grant]

What about calling the book “History is Bunk”

[Mick Harper]

Yes, all excellent. However, for better or worse, we have decided (having tried and failed spectacularly with all other avenues) to try to get the book onto the shelves of university departmental libraries.

This means the title has to get past the middle-aged lady with glasses she keeps on a piece of ribbon round her neck going bang, bang on her inky pad, writing 'Historiography' on a card and sticking it in the pile of books that arrived that week en route for the stacks.

Now keep them coming.

[Chad]

"The History of History Revealed" or "The Secret History of The Historical Record"

[Wile E. Coyote]

[Mick Harper]

She's wrinkling her professional nose. We don't want her putting it in her tote bag to take home to read.

[Chad]

"Applying Epistemology to The Historical Record"

Very academic sounding.

[Mick Harper]

Better. The problem is that the word 'epistemology'
(a) puts people off
(b) allows people to put themselves off
(c) opens another front from which to be attacked.

I have eschewed the word in this book, referring to 'revisionists' when requiring to convey a sense of 'a school' with a different approach eg

[Wile E. Coyote]

"Vanished Ages."