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The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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I should have married Eve Muirhead when I had the chance. That way she wouldn't have thrown that duff stone in the match against Canada because for sure no wife of mine would ever have gone out to work.
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Mick Harper
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So we've reached half-time in the away leg of the last sixteens and Man City are four-nil up. The way I see the Champions League being re-organised is
a) we have a round robin amongst the top six English teams
b) plus every year we have a guest team from the Continent.
Or Arsenal if they don't get in the top six.
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Mick Harper
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We raise a glass of Bushmills to our doughty warriors o' the northlands fighting the foreign foe for golds in 'the curling' as I think they call it. If only I had been blessed with a millilitre of Scottish blood, but it was not to be.
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Mick Harper
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Ujah doping costs GB's Tokyo relay medal The court of arbitration for sport found that the 27-year-old sprinter did have two banned substances in a urine sample, ostarine and S-23, which are known as selective androgen receptor modulators that mimic testosterone in the body.

Was he a naughty boy? It had to go all the way to the top to find he was but I wonder...

In a statement Ujah said: “ I would like to make it clear that I unknowingly consumed a contaminated supplement and this was the reason why an anti-doping rule violation occurred at the Tokyo Olympic Games.

If he had taken a supplement by mistake that happened to contain the two offending substances, I would be inclined to cut him some slack. If he had taken a non-banned supplement that had been contaminated with one of the substances, I would cut him some slack. But it is very difficult to envisage circumstances when a supplement can be contaminated with two substances.

"Careful down there. We've got ostarine on the production line next door."
"Right-oh, guv, I'll shift the doings over this way, shall I?"
"Yeah, but not too far. We've got S-23 on the belt the other side."
"Cor blimey, you can't move for selective androgen receptor modulators these days, can you, guv?"
"Times we live in, son, times we live in."
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Grant



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The coach should have given him his pills in those boxes used by pensioners.
Meanwhile the Italians get away Scot free
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Mick Harper
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There are only two statements I do not understand there, Grant. It may be me.
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Hatty
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Valieva's explanation was she ingested her grandfather's angina medication by mistake. Possibly from a trace element lying around, not from the box of pills itself

Kamila Valieva’s legal team has claimed that her positive drugs test may have come from a contaminated glass of water that contained traces of her grandfather’s heart medication.

Valieva isn't Italian. The Italian sports federation has been arguing the age of competing athletes needs to be raised to 17.
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Mick Harper
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I'm not quite sure what a 'legal team' is in Russia but I see they are following national guidelines by presenting ridiculous excuses and saying, "If you think you're hard enough try arguing." Once you're already competing as the Russian Olympic Committee there are not many sanctions left in the locker.

I have worked out that Grant's box must refer to the (usually a) card that has all the pills laid out for each day which kept my dear mama alive for so many years (not despite my best efforts as some people have put it about). But it doesn't seem relevant to the Ujah hujah. (A Yoruba pun, my first.)

The Italians' age of consent point is certainly relevant in the Age of Drugs. At what age can you realistically refuse your country's request to "Drink it down, dear, it'll make nice strong bones." In my day we kept the drugs until we'd finished the cross-country.
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Grant



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What I meant was:
The coach should have made it clearer when he should take/not take his pills. An OAP pill box would have done the trick.

The Italians were the biggest cheats in the last Olympics and even managed to win the 4 x 100 relay, showing that white men can indeed run faster than black men - if they get the medication right.
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Mick Harper
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Rangers 6 Borussia Dortmund 4

Come on, you Gers. (Can anyone tell me how to pronounce it, I don't want to make a fool of myself being casual in Sauchiehall Street.) The weirdest thing about this very weird result is that the 18-year-old Jude Bellingham was not only Dortmund's best player over both legs but seemed to be their de facto captain. Germany should be all right for the next decade and a half with such a Beckenbauer.

Meanwhile Celtic were going down 5-1 to Bodo, one of the few clubs playing on the wrong side of the Arctic Circle. Let's hear it for the Old Order and the Proddy Dogs!
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Mick Harper
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Nadine Dorries approves Uefa taking Euro-final away from St Petersburg Agencies

Such a comfort, having a true footie fan in charge.

It's on its way to Wembley,
Dorries' all gone trembley.


They're coming home
They're coming home
Man City vs Chelsea's coming home

etc
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Mick Harper
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I must reluctantly support the widespread demands that the Russian-owned Chelsea football club forfeit their place in next season's Champion's League. If that means Burnley, Norwich or some other no-hoper claims the fourth spot and is speedily eliminated that is just the price we shall have to pay. And pay proudly.
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Wile E. Coyote


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It's pretty embarassing for Putin that many Russian sports stars are against the war, it's a bit like Marcus Rashford telling Boris what to do on foreign policy, as well as kids' meals. This is, of course, not to say that Marcus wouldn't do a better job, it's just the optics.

You know that Vlad has cocked up his PR when FIDE (the chess guys), bankrolled by Russian sponsors, cancel the Moscow Chess olympiad, the star Russian tennis players are saying no to war, christ even the star Mixed Martial Artist Petr Yan has tweeted for peace.
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Mick Harper
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While you were posting this I was reading Barney Ronay in the bath on this subject (unusually diffident because he had written an admiring book following the Moscow World Cup). I realised the one way the Russian person-in-the-street would gather something was up would be if all Russian teams were banned for, say, two years from everything. UEFA would certainly have the votes for this but I don't know about FIFA or the IOC.

I'm not saying these bodies have the will but look what's happened already and the war only three days old. Putin could rail all he liked about it being a western plot but Ivan would say to Mrs Ivan, "I'm sure it is, but we had a good team this season. We might have made the quarters. Do you think the manager's lost the dressing room, dear?"
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Wile E. Coyote


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I had just bet on Russia to win the world cup as all the better teams were refusing to play them. Now I fear my fiver is lost.
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