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AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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The Tourist (BBC1)

You need to chase a man in a nippy car across featureless terrain. Do you use
a) a small but nippier car
b) an off-roader of some description
c) a road train with a turning circle of about half a mile?

You are making a series for telly and need an arresting opening sequence that involves chasing a man in a small but nippy car across featureless terrain. Do you use
a) a small but nippier car
b) an off-roader of some description
c) a road train with a turning circle of about half a mile?

Do you have complete contempt for your audience because they're Australian
a) yes
b) yes
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Grant



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Plus it was a complete steal of Duel, the great Spielberg TV movie. And how the hell did the massive truck sneak out and broadside him?
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Mick Harper
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I was puzzled by a different plot gap. A bomb rips out the side of a café in a one-horse Australian town in the outback i.e. is the most dramatic event that has occurred for several hundred miles and several hundred years in all directions, yet as the ensuing hours unfold there is no evidence of the police attending the crime scene or having a word with the intended victim of the bomb. This dilatory approach to law'n'order rises to a climax when the victim has to tell a local policewoman that evening all about it. "Gosh!" she says, but in Australian.

We eventually hear the bomb blast mentioned on a radio news bulletin in the background so it's not as if Australians are completely blasé about these things. But they're a hardbitten lot, not over-impressed by outbreaks of wanton savagery. "Officer, I need to report World War Three has broken out." "Would you mind waiting your turn, this lady's got a koala stuck up a tree. What's the name? ... No, the koala's name."
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Hatty
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In: Berkshire
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It's turning into the Coen Brothers, Aussie-style.
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Grant



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And the particularly stupid policeman who didn’t bother interviewing the target of the bomb was clearly of aboriginal origin. How the hell did that get past the diversity review? It even shocked an old racist like me
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Grant wrote:
Plus it was a complete steal of Duel, the great Spielberg TV movie. And how the hell did the massive truck sneak out and broadside him?


Yeah all the current stuff is just a montage of 70s and 80s films. Well at least they chose Spielberg's only good film. Got to give credit where it's due.
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Mick Harper
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I cannot let that pass. I defer to no man in my contempt for the sentimentalising populist but he made dozens of terrific films. Duel is not one of them, only the first of them.
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Wile E. Coyote


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I think Always has to be his worst.

I am trying to think of a good one, the best I can come up with is Minority Report, which was at least well worth the price of admission.
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Mick Harper
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A bloke I met in the pub sounded me out about investing in a company he was running. It sounded pretty hi-tec with all the bells and whistles but I'm a lot shrewder than people give me credit for so I told him to put it all in writing before I gave him pound one

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Mick Harper
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Assassins (Sky Documentaries)

This is a two hour film about the killing of Kim Jong-Un's half-brother at Kuala Lumpur airport. It could be fascinating except the film-makers, having spent inordinate amounts of time and money making the film, have decided that all talking heads must, for reasons of journalistic authenticity, speak in either their own language without overdubbing or in incomprehensible broken English. The subtitles, where provided, are too small to read and half the time cannot be read anyway because they are against a white background.

As the whole film is essentially a talkathon -- and I can assure you a fascinating talkathon in so far as I can judge -- we are back on one of our old AE rants. Creative artists are their own worst enemy. And broadcasters are very close behind for not insisting a hap'orth of tar is applied before they spend inordinate sums etc etc
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