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Questions Of The Day (Politics)
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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This is why I never watch the TV news any more (unless I’ve got a plate of food on my lap and can’t move).

I watch Channel 4 News, Newsnight and Al-Jazeera News Hour every day. I used to watch a couple of CNN prime-times as well but they got removed. Am I fat?

Every single story either fits an agenda or is just sensationalism to attract viewers.

Pretty much every single story turns up on pretty much every single news channel so unless you believe in a World Government News Agency feeding us sensationalism, how do you explain this?

You will now tell me that it was ever thus, but I’m not sure that’s true.

It was ever thus and I'm sure it's true.

Twenty years ago they tried to show a few stories about what is happening in Britain today.

Last time I looked they still are.

Now even those stories are distorted by current fads like Covid or global warming or racism.

The big stories at the moment are Covid, global warming and racism.

The only genuine news items are the car crashes they report on at the weekend because the political spinmeisters are not working and ITN and BBC need to find something eye-catching to show their addicted viewers.

The world mostly shuts down at the weekend.
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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Here's an idea for Boris to raise his flagging fortunes

The French tricolor has undergone a bit of a makeover. Emmanuel Macron made the important decision to change the sky blue to a navy blue.

See what I did there? 'Flagging fortunes'. I'd offer to write his speeches if I thought the eejit could keep my pages in the right order. No, but seriously, the Union Jack is looking a bit tired. What is it, two hundred and odd years since the last change? Of course we might have to take the Irish bit out soon anyway. Here's hoping.

I agree, navy blue to sky blue would be two fingers to the French but inappropriate with Pep still miles behind Frank's Old Boys. Even though it would upset the Scots. No, I think an extra stripe is what's called for. Green would be aspirational, yellow more realistic. What about octarine as a tribute to Terry Pratchett? I'll see what he thinks before committing myself. He may prefer a knighthood. I've booked a spot in Poet's Corner myself but let's not get ahead of ourselves, I've got years in the tank. As long as my mind doesn't go. What was I talking about? Oh yes, Boris Johnson. Aaagh, I'm going to shoot myself.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Mick Harper wrote:
Here's an idea for Boris to raise his flagging fortunes


My own suggestion is something I have labelled "levelling up". Good punchy name eh?

Here is how it works. You empower all your anti-imperialist wokey types in the south to close down their museums, knock down their statues, etc and so create a Southern cultural wasteland. It is what they want to do anyway.

You then transfer all your imperial treasures to Middlesborough, where you create a new capital. At a stroke tourism, transport links and hospitality will all start to move northwards. The guilty metropolitans in the south will still have their street theatre and modern art to admire along with 14 different types of Fair Trade coffee. We have simply removed white privilege from sight. Northerners like Scotty will be able to gaze in wonderment at the Elgin Marbles for the first time. That will surely cheer them up, and will also make them more civilised.

I will email it to Boris.
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