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CABINET OF CURIOSITIES (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Amazon has decided that Wiley is not going to be tempted by "General Practical Information About Making Lampshades" M.R. Griffith, so I am now being offered "Taxidermy Vol. 10 Collecting Specimens - The Collection and Displaying Taxidermy Specimens" by Various Authors.
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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A disturbing connection made there by the Amazon algorithm conjuring up, if you recall it, Woody Allen's joke about Nazi lampshades. The book that started Big Al off is still unclassified and is now two hundred and something thousandth least unpopular book in Britain. Unless there is a review this weekend -- technically the first since publication so it's just about possible -- or I can get Hatty to give my family the basilisk eye at tonight's Zoom conference, the book will drift down to the one millions where it will stay for the remainder of its lovelorn life. Apart from me. I shall always love it.
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Ishmael


In: Toronto
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I just searched for the book on Amazon. No luck. Can I get a direct link?
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Boreades


In: finity and beyond
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Is it too late to change your Nom De Plume to J R Hartley?

Perhaps even call the book "Sly Fishing" as well?
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Mick Harper
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I just searched for the book on Amazon. No luck. Can I get a direct link?

This is interesting. Our esteemed printers-on-demand, the biggest of their kind in the world, make a song and dance about automatic access to worldwide outlets. Please continue to check Canadian/US Amazon. Meanwhile here's li'l ol' Great Britain

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Missing-Persons-M-J-Harper/dp/095429114X/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=m+j+harper&qid=1627022729&s=books&sr=1-3

Maybe it's being 'rolled out' but given the snafus so far, maybe not.
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Mick Harper
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A Man Is Known By The Company He Keeps

Great Expectations: The Toddler Years: The Essential Guide To Your 1 To 3 Year Old | Sandy Jones, The Secret History of the English Language | M.J. Harper, Quantum Mechanics for Applied Physics and Engineering (Dover Books on Physics) Volume 3 Anonymous Rank 19 - this is relevant | irrelevant
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Mick Harper
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Mick Harper elsewhere wrote:
Quick addition to your Bluffers' Guide. The repecharge is referred to as 'the rep'.

There are times when technically you should use the 'insider's' term but you just can't bring yourself to. The two I find particularly problematic, aside from 'problematic', are
a) referring to a 'gig' even though everyone else in the discussion is using the word quite unselfconsciously
b) saying 'Roger' on the radio even though you are mandated to do so as a motorbike courier.
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Mick Harper
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I suspect I would have got a review in the Guardian (and be set up for life) but for an unfortunate concatenation. They were also considering reviewing The Truth About Lies: A Taxonomy of Deceit, Hoaxes and Cons by Aja Rasen. I suspect the editorial conference went like this

"Harper's is outasight the superior book."
"Yes, but Aja Rasen is clearly a member of a minority."
"May even be a woman."
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Mick Harper
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Having belatedly read Kathryn Hughes' review, it seems so

The Truth About Lies claims to be a “taxonomy” of deceits, hoaxes and cons, but actually it is no such thing. “Taxonomy” is one of those words that sounds important and semi-official. But Raden never makes any attempt to bring her stories into any kind of relational or ranking system

I raise this very point in a discussion about people wanting to know the origin of their language even though this is not presently knowable

Even the linguists have to admit there can be no actual evidence for these which slows them down not one whit – they reconstruct them by agglomerating the words of the assumed offspring. The total circularity of the procedure has to be ignored because now all present-day languages can be grouped into clades, clades means cladistics, cladistics means science and science means everybody now knows where their language comes from.

I used 'taxonomy' in an earlier version but changed it to 'clade'. A wrong decision I would say. But imagine that! The Guardian prefers a not-very-good book on the subject to a seminal one.

Only kidding. The review copy never made it past the bloke in the post room who can spot a wrong 'un a mile off.
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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My cooking endeavours have been somewhat handicapped of late by the smoke alarm going off every time I try anything too ambitious. There was not much I could do about this because it would have meant tampering with the alarm or cleaning out the oven or anyway something too ambitious for the likes of me. A relative kitchen tenderfoot.

But not so. I discovered somebody had broken in one night and left a fork unobtrusively hidden at the back of the oven. How do I know ill intent was involved? Because it wouldn't have made any difference were the fork not bone-handled and I've only got one of those (none of those now) so it can't have been an accident. Now I'm all set for Elizabeth David. Come on, I've got to start somewhere. Next, Conran.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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I am beginning to think you need to get arrested. Murray is getting a lot of free publicity, the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture is now on board. A recent break-in in London sounds distressing but I can't see it boosting sales. Maybe if they hogtied you, that would have helped? .
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Mick Harper
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Jesu mother of God, Wiley, I'm doing everything I can. I accuse every major art institution and Oxbridge college of criminal conspiracy and the British state of every high crime and misdemeanour including the kitchen sinks they didn't melt down for Spitfires and still they won't come for me. They're just plain frit. I can't help that.
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Mick Harper
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In: London
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Usually dispatched within 6 to 10 days

Amazon's algorithm has sensed something is in the wind. Unless me clicking onto the site every fifteen minutes to see if there's been a sale is spooking it.
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Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
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Missing Persons has arrived, without ever being dispatched.

I hope to find time for a review.

Unfortunately, I am now at work, stuffing assorted dead animals and making lampshades.

BTW if anybody knows how to stuff the anus of an aardvark, and then go on to illuminate it, in a soft white but still warming glow, can you please advise me.
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Mick Harper
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Missing Persons has arrived, without ever being dispatched.

I was puzzled about the metaphysics of this until I realised you meant without Amazon telling you they had dispatched it. I was puzzling about my own test purchase given that the last I'd heard was 'one to three months' and why they hadn't told me it was down to 'one to three weeks' and then 'six to ten days' but I figured that their algorithm had figured that it was better for Amazon customers to be agreeably surprised than to confess to Amazon being in a delivery uproar situation.

Aardvarks, I'm afraid, are very much Hatty's department. She deals with all Aa to Ab enquiries while I do the remainder.
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