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The Importance of Sport (NEW CONCEPTS)
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Mick Harper
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They spent more (£70 mil) on a Theo lookalike (Pépé) than Liverpool did on any of their players and where did that get them?
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Mick Harper
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Arsenal 2 Sheffield United 1

Before I continue like a cracked record (and where are everyone's else's match reports?) we might remember that in terms of playing staff these two teams shouldn't even be in the same division. But that said, it was a comfortable victory. The Chaps still made a bog-up of playing it out from the back but the difference between a Sheffield press and a Liverpool press, other than in shop doorways, is that one pretends they're doing it and the other one flies at you from every direction.

Notes for Mikel from Mick-El: No defence can be considered 'sorted' if it's got David Luiz at the heart of it. The man should have been sent off after five minutes which would have improved things. I'm no great fan of Lacazette but Nketiyah is at least a season away from replacing him. And look, old son, pumping the ball into the goalmouth went out with the ark, especially when you're playing Sheffield United who came out of the ark. Didn't you notice the first time you tried playing it through, after a whole hour, you scored? And then did a repeat performance five minutes later. Has the peseta dropped, dummikins?
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Grant



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Aston Villa 7 Liverpool 2

Do Liverpool really need Mane that much? Frankly, don't care, but what is important is that Southgate plays Ollie Watkins in the next England game before he gets selected by the Ivory Coast or whatever team his grandfather makes him eligible for.
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Mick Harper
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Man Utd 1 Spurs 6

The old boys' club was out in force. Everyone was blamed except Ole Gunnar Solskjær. "Why has he been let down so badly?"
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Mick Harper
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Commentating for Beginners

"And he's clean through... [pause] He was never going to miss that."
"And he's clean through... [pause] He never really looked comfortable."
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Mick Harper
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Are we in favour of Southampton's new 'sash' look? Of course we aren't. The club colours are red and white stripes not red and white stripe. But that's not what is wrong from a style perspective. Peru pioneered the slash-look but they are Latin American and are expected to be eccentric. But also stylish. Which they achieve by having a red slash on a white background and run onto the field like ten South American dictators that have just been sworn into office after a doubtful election. Southampton's white slash on a red background is only reminiscent of a tawdry paperback with the words "Ten million copies sold worldwide" only someone forgot the words.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Mick Harper wrote:
Are we in favour of Southampton's new 'sash' look? Of course we aren't. The club colours are red and white stripes not red and white stripe. But that's not what is wrong from a style perspective. Peru pioneered the slash-look but they are Latin American and are expected to be eccentric. But also stylish. .


The kit is a "miror " of Saints first ever kit. That kit in 1885 was all-white except for the bright red sash running from the left shoulder to the right hip, while this season’s effort inverts the colours and direction of the sash.Of course, to get the full impact, the shorts need to be a tad longer and you have to have a mustache....still it's nice to have a bit of tradition.

NB Arsenal's kit draws inspiration from Juve and the German kit. Presumably as they want the team to follow orders.
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Wile E. Coyote


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Wiley has come up with a new way of making 5 a side football interesting.

Add 6 players to each side, play it outdoors on grass, ban short triangle passing and allow heading and sliding tackles.

What do you think?
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Mick Harper
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NB Arsenals kit draws inspiration from Juve and the German kit

I know little of this Arsenal of which you speak but according to a bloke I was talking to in the Charlie George lounge, they were given some shirts by Nottingham Forest and thus always play in red shirts and white shorts. An Italian bloke at the next table said, "Jah voll, our beloved Juventus kit derives from ze Newcastle United. Signor Ashley sent them."
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Mick Harper
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Deadline Day

Man Utd are desperate to slim down numbers by loaning out people who 'don't fit in with our long term plans'. But as yet nobody has come in for Solskjær.
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Mick Harper
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It's October and finally, finally, a Brit with a chance has been entered into one of the Grand Tours. Two in fact, Simon Yates and Geraint Thomas.

Day One time trial: our lads one and two among the contenders by a country mile
Day Two flat stage: our lads imperious at the head of the contenders
Day Three mountain stage: two hundred yards into the non-competitive rollout, "G" crashes out of the race. Mount Etna, Simo blows up, no longer a contender.
Day Four final stage: M J Harper climbs off his exercise bike and orders a rowing machine from Argos.
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Mick Harper
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Biggest deal of Deadline Day so far: Everton in for a Portuguese stopper. I knew they'd start panicking.
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Mick Harper
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I'm afraid the obvious choice, the Rt Hon 'Jack' Grealish, does not have prime ministerial hair so I've told the Queen to send for Dominic Calvert-Lewin instead. He will be our first double-barrelled premier since Sir Alec Douglas-Home.
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Mick Harper
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After several days of keeping us watching with "Simon Yates may have had a bad day but he's by no means out of the race", he didn't start today. [insert Yeats whine bar pun here] So it's on to the Vuelta d'Espagna where Froomey will lead our charge except he's leaving Ineos in the winter so they'll make sure he gets nowhere. Remind me not to buy one of their bastard Land Cruisers.

But an interesting stat from yesterday's stage, the fastest ever for the Giro. A hundred and eighty cyclists travelling a hundred and fifty kilometres at fifty kilometres an hour. I know they're professionals and all that but it makes you think we might have taken a wrong turning when it comes to long distance travel somewhere along the line.
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Mick Harper
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I have done Simon -- and the entire town of Bury -- a grave injustice imputing moral turpitude. He was withdrawn because he had Covid19. This raises a point I haven't seen argued elsewhere: did he have precursor Covid when he passed his test but cycled poorly on the Day of Destiny?
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