MemberlistThe Library Index  FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   RegisterRegister   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 
AE on Telly News (NEW CONCEPTS)
Reply to topic Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 68, 69, 70 ... 145, 146, 147  Next
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Most of us have always wanted to be pirates but suffer from sea-sickness, so you will be interested in the Vice Channel's documentary about piracy on the River Danube. It doesn't sound very promising, does it, but the way it works is this. You tow a couple of four-ton water containers out to a passing oil tanker and they fill them up for you in exchange for the use of a couple of whores. So if you have a working knowledge of Serbo-Croat and a sister, get in touch.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Domino's Coronavirus Reduced Options Menu Alert

Avoid jalapeno peppers when you're taking the buy two get one half price offer and if feels silly asking for two pepperoni passions, and you've decided on the choose-four-toppings.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Strangely though, once the jalapenos are removed one is left with the world's best pizza (it turns out to be sausage, ground beef and onions, though it's hard to believe), yet another sign that lockdown is delivering entirely new horizons. Not that everyone is as adventurous as me.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Van der Valk (Talking Pictures)

Syd Tafler as a senior policeman? What is this, Belgium?
Send private message
Chad


In: Ramsbottom
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Strangely though, once the jalapenos are removed one is left with the world's best pizza

Remove the jalapeños? ... Are you insane? ... It tastes like cardboard without the jalapeños.

Shit... isn’t that a symptom of coronavirus?
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

No, it happens about once a day quite naturally.
Not if you only eat the pizza.
Why, were they undocumented?
How long have you been having these feelings about being a diagnostic psychiatrist?
Would you have been as punctilious about diacritics if it had been, say, vindaloo?
Send private message
Chad


In: Ramsbottom
View user's profile
Reply with quote

punctilious about diacritics

The ‘predictive text’ thingy offered them to me, and I thought they looked pretty.
Send private message
Wile E. Coyote


In: Arizona
View user's profile
Reply with quote

"That will be the "Spicy Firecracker", but no jalapenos, double dough, sir "

"Thanks"

"Chili sauce?"

"No. Thank you"

"Salt or pepper?"

"I wouldn't want to spoil it"
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Angela Raisin (R4Extra)

I learn from her neighbour that I have been mispronouncing 'pullulate' all my life. God knows how many salons this has kept me out of.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix)

I'm only five minutes into this God-knows how long series and I am being asked to believe (or if true, being asked to fathom) that, in order to have some minor -- and not it would seem illegal -- sexual activity with a teenager, the following took place:

1. Jeffrey & Ghislane are attending the graduating exhibition at New York's premier art college
2. They persuade the Dean of the College to order one of the more attractive graduating students not to sell her paintings for $30,000 to someone else but for half that to J & G in return for unspecified future services (for the student? for the college?)
3. For the graduating student this turns out to be a job acting as a glorified commissionaire at J & G's newly established Manhattan town house
4. This student is then required to introduce her younger sisters to the town house.
5. The sixteen-year-old one is then flown out to J & G's ranch in New Mexico 'as part of a group of young persons being something or othered' to get parental approval. We are not told what with any specificity.
6. On arrival she finds herself all alone with J & G
7. She is then informed that part of this something-or-other involves bare-breasted massages with Ghislane witnessed by Jeffrey.
8. To which she consents without too much reflection on her part.
9. Now watch on.
10. OK, but it's a bit of an effort. Not quite titillating but not quite shockingly revelatory either. Sort of weirdly tawdry. It has to be remembered that the rich are only talented in becoming rich. After that it's all a bit downhill. That's why I am determined to avoid such a fate.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

The Water Boatman (Discovery Shed)

I discovered a significant fact watching this. The bloke had hitched a lift on a 'working boat' plying the canals around Brum, delivering wood and smokeless fuel. "So it is economic," I thought to myself, ecologically. But, no, it turned out that they -- and all the other 'working boats' -- each had their own patch to deliver these bulk goods to other canal boats or canalside pubs. In other words, just the simple act of having to put it on a lorry at the other end rendered canal economics futile.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

The First Team (BBC-2)

I have come to this late on account of having to keep up with Mark "Kermode" Kermode on Space Force (Netflix) which we are both enjoying immensely but are only up to Episode Four, when American series start to become self-referential, grotesquely sentimental and generally unwatchable.

The First Team (we are up to Episode One) is equally enjoyable but suffers from one very British defect. English scriptwriters are incapable of rendering English dialogue in other than received English rhythms and English actors lack the gumption to re-write their own dialogue. Thus all black characters are wooden, all foreigners are comic and all northerners are stupid. The footballers of course are all stupid too but this is intentional. Save, I was interested to note, the American lead. No doubt he benefited from a college scholarship. And possibly the intention is to sell the series to Netflix in the fullness of time.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Drain (Channel 5)

Not one of their interminable series about how filthy the British keep their homes but an excellent account of modern maritime archaeology using the latest hi-tec. The second prog "Nazi Secrets" allows me to tell you the fascinating story of Germany's only aircraft carrier, the Graf Zeppelin. Though not the one the talking head experts gave in the programme.

The Germans were suffering from the same disease the British were: who controls air assets at sea? The navy or the air force? Only in Germany's case the Kriegsmarine had to contend with Herman Goering. Which was why they weren't overkeen on ever finishing it. Why have fatso in command of your fleet? And didn't. But that's not the end of the story. In 1945 Admiral Doenitz ordered the Graf Zeppelin to be deliberately breached in the Elbe Estuary whereupon, after the war, the Russians ordered it to be refloated and have it chugged off to Leningrad. Just as, by the way, virtually all the ships sunk at Pearl Harbour were refloated and chugged off to settle scores with the Japanese who were entitled to think they had seen the last of them.

But the Russians had a change of heart on the voyage and decided, instead of having a nice aircraft carrier, they would use it to work out how to sink aircraft carriers. They did this by the ridiculous expedient of placing five high explosive charges on the flight deck and when that didn't do the job, bombed the merry hell out of it.

And to this day, the Russians have never had an aircraft carrier (or sunk one, come to that). The best they could manage was the through-deck cruiser, Kiev, which has Harrier-style jump jets. When I say Harrier-style jump jets I mean Harrier jump-jets because they are clearly built from blueprints stolen from Hawker-Siddeley. But that is another tale that will never be told.
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Drain: "Egypt's Lost Wonder" (5 Select)

However, the limitations of the technique arise when archaeology actually becomes useful i.e. when there aren't historical sources bursting out from every other gill.

So, they're looking for the Pharos Lighthouse and find these enormous stone blocks littering Alexandria harbour. They hi-tec fit a few together and produce an enormous doorway. Now stop me if I'm wrong but lighthouses, unlike temples which are also made of large stone blocks, don't have much use for ceremonial doorways on the grand scale. "Oy, Bert, you awake? Day shift's here." "I was only resting my eyes. Have you brought along the door-opening team, I'm dying to get home for some proper shut-eye."

The discussion of the Arab sources for the existence of the Pharos reminded me to remind you that we had better provisionally place it alongside the other made-up Wonders of the World. The Great Pyramid of Giza ... I ask you. What are the chances?
Send private message
Mick Harper
Site Admin

In: London
View user's profile
Reply with quote

Special Branch (Talking Pictures)

Guess what Special Branch's call sign is? Sugar Bravo. Rather clever, I thought. Like Zed Victor One in Zed Cars but without the Victor.

MJH Out.
Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 68, 69, 70 ... 145, 146, 147  Next

Jump to:  
Page 69 of 147

MemberlistThe Library Index  FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   RegisterRegister   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group